Disclaimer: Frieza and his minions, along with the planet Namek and its citizens don’t belong to me. Unlike the other stories, this story is told from Vegeta’s perspective.

(Formerly "Birds of a Feather")

        Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Prince Vegeta. I’m here to tell all you readers a story. Not just any bedtime story. This is a story made to show you who is the boss around here.....as if you don’t already know. The other Spice Club members and I had a long talk about this experience, and I wrote it all down.  That’s how I can tell what happened while I was away or unconscious.  The other Spices put this story together, but they’re not getting any credit. All the credit goes to me and me alone, got it? You’d better enjoy this story, because it comes directly from the heart of my bottom. It also shows you that we Saiyans are described with only one word.....
        Naughty......
        The following scenario would happen nearly on a daily basis.  I would be walking down the halls, and then this pink creature would come up to me in his hoverchair.  He had black horns protruding from his forehead.  His lips were red and shiny, as if he were wearing lipstick.  Just the sight of him was enough to make me sick to my stomach.  Thank goodness I would never have to experience this kind of nausea again.
        “I’ve had my eye on a nice little planet,” Frieza would say.  “Join me, and we’ll conquer it together.”
        “As you command, Frieza,” I’d reply, taking a bow.
        Frieza took me in when I was only a child.  He promised to spare my father and the other Saiyans only if I obeyed his every command.  I did just that.  Surprise, surprise, he killed them all anyway.  To me, that act was just downright......
        Naughty.....

***

Present Day....

        I sat up in bed. "’As you command, Frieza!’" I said in a whiny voice. Ha! All this obedience is enough to make me throw up! I must find Frieza and kill him! But he’s so powerful that I can’t do it alone. Should I ask the others to help me? No.....I’m strong enough; I don’t need them. Besides, Pico would probably try to kill me. I still need someone......someone I can trust. Wait, I know! Spinal is the one! He’s always been there. He may not be too bright, but he’s the perfect friend for me. He couldn’t betray me even if he wanted to. Besides, I get to scare him all I want. That’s how I can be really......
        Naughty......
        I rushed out of the room and ran down the hall into the bridge. Spinal was asleep by the side terminals. I shook him gently.
        "Spinal, wake up!"
        Spinal groaned as he stirred. "What?"
        "I need your help to defeat someone."
        "Not now; I’m asleep!"
        "Then wake up!" I cried. "I can’t do this alone!"
        "Vegeta, do you have any idea what time it is?" Spinal asked.
        "I don’t care what time it is! I need you now!" I insisted.
        "Go away!" Spinal whined. "I’ll help you in the morning....."
        I couldn’t believe this. My little friend was refusing to help me? This was so unlike him. I couldn’t believe that the little sapling could be so......
        Naughty......
        Although it was midnight, I wasn’t about to take no for an answer. I grabbed Spinal’s ankles and began dragging him out of the room. "It can’t wait until morning! You’re coming with me, whether you like it or not!"
        "All right, let go! I can walk, you know."
        I really trusted the little guy, so I released him, and Spinal stood up and followed.
        "So what’s so important that you have to wake me up in the middle of the night?" Spinal asked.
        "I need your help to defeat a fiend named Frieza," I explained. "He’s at least three times more powerful than I am."
        "Wait a minute," Spinal said. "You have all that power, and you’re telling me that this Frieza is three times more powerful?"
        "At least," I corrected him. "He lives on the planet Namek. Let’s go."
        So he and I teleported down to the planet Namek. It was a quaint little planet, lots of sunshine, plenty of clear, blue water, three suns.....but that’s not the point.
        "Vegeta......" Spinal said. "If Frieza is as powerful as he is, I don’t see how I’m going to be of any help. Maybe we should tell the others."
        "No!" I snapped. "I can’t trust them."
        "Why not?" Spinal asked. "They’re perfectly trustworthy."
        "I have my reasons," I said. "Now first, we’ll go to Guru’s."
        "Who’s Guru?"
        "The Eldest Namek. He can increase your power."
        Spinal and I ran through the grassy fields as fast as we could. Suddenly, another pink creature appeared.  He was chubby with sharp lumps all over him.  He reminded me of a raspberry.
        "Oh man, what is that?" Spinal asked.
        "That’s Dodoria," I said. "He’s one of Frieza’s goons."
        "Well, look who’s back!" Dodoria called. "Frieza will be happy to hear this!"
        "He won’t be so happy when he finds out WHY I’ve come back," I told him. "My little bony friend and I are out to destroy Frieza once and for all."
        "Oh man...." Spinal whimpered softly. "Why did he have to drag me into this?"
        "Ha! Frieza’s too powerful!" Dodoria exclaimed. "You’re not match for him! Why don’t you just rejoin him and everything will be fine!"
        "Rejoin?" Spinal gasped. "Vegeta, what is going on?"
        "I’ll explain later," I told him. "For now, just step aside while I beat this guy."
        "You’re no match for me either," Dodoria said.
        "We’ll see about that, dodo brain," I responded.
        Dodoria began marching towards us. Spinal ducked behind me.
        "Oh no....he’s gonna crush us, Vegeta," he whined. "Do something!"
        "Stop sniveling!" I snapped. I love it when he does that. "Take cover. Just one blast, and I’ll send him straight to hell."
        It had been a while since I had seen this pink raspberry. I was eager to show him that during my absence, my behavior had gone from bad to worse. Not just worse, but terribly......
        Naughty.....
        I rushed at Dodoria and they battled fiercely.  When Zarbon, another one of Frieza’s goons reached the battlefield, Dodoria had already taken a beating from li’l old me.  Zarbon was another feminine looking guy.  He had dark green hair and a pink cape.  He wore jewels on his forehead, similar to Jade’s.  As Dodoria coughed out some dirt, Zarbon approached him.
        "Zarbon, what are you doing here?" Dodoria gasped.
        "Frieza wants us to bring Vegeta and his friend back alive," Zarbon said.
        "That would be a terrible mistake! They intend to destroy Frieza!"
        "They are no match for Frieza. I’ll take Vegeta from here. You can take the ragged little bonehead."
        "Maybe he won’t be so overwhelming!" I called. Yes, I was sure that even Spinal could take out that fat slob.
        Dodoria advanced on Spinal. "Come here, little one. I won’t hurt you."
        "Stay away from me!" Spinal whined.
        Dodoria charged, but Spinal dove aside....

***

        Back on the Spice Rack, Jenny was checking her body temperature. She pulled the thermometer out of her mouth and checked the reading.
        "A temp of 103.2?" she observed. "That’s not good...."
        She began coughing violently, and she had a hard time stopping.
        "Oh man, this is one hell of a cold!" she told herself. "Why do I get the feeling that this wasn’t a good time to get sick?"
        She climbed back into bed....

***

        During my fight, I gave Zarbon a merciless punch to the face.
        "I don’t have time for this, Zarbon!" I said. "My friend and I have to take care of some business."
        I flew away, taking Spinal by the wrist. We were gone before Zarbon and Dodoria could turn around.
        "We must reach Guru’s quickly!" I said. "He’s in that tower up ahead."
        I rushed to the tower where a dome-like building stood. I released Spinal right outside, then began to leave.
        "Where’re you going?" Spinal cried.
        "I have to hide," I told him. "Guru hates me. You go ahead."
        Guru, the Eldest Namek, didn’t like me very much. He hated me because I had been mean to his people. I loved it, though. I’m talking about mean as in.....
        Naughty.......
        I clung against the mountain tower. When Spinal was left alone, a green creature emerged from the building, ready for an overhead strike. Spinal gasped and held his arms up, but surprisingly, the creature didn’t follow through. Spinal looked up.
        "Piccolo?"
        The creature looked confused. "Piccolo? My name is Nail."
        "You’re a Namek, right?"
        "Yes. And who are you? What do you want?"
        "Oh, well.....I....." Spinal stammered.
        "Spit it out!" Nail ordered.
        "Well.....I’m Spinal.....I’m here to see Guru."
        "Guru, eh? For what reason?"
        "I......I need information on Frieza," Spinal said.
        Nail narrowed his eyes. "Follow me."
        He walked into the building, and Spinal followed. A large, chubby Namek sat in his throne.
        "Master Guru, you have a visitor," Nail said, bringing Spinal forward.
        "Um....hi, my name is Spinal, and I’m here to find Frieza so that I can beat him...." Spinal turned to Nail. "Is he awake?"
        "I hear you, Spinal," Guru said in a low, weak voice. "Please continue."
        "Well, I’m told that you can increase my power," Spinal went on. "Is that true?"
        "I don’t increase power," Guru told him. "I can only awaken sleeping powers within. If you have no sleeping power, then I cannot help you."
        "How can I tell if I have sleeping power?"
        "Come, stand beside me."
        Spinal stood next to the throne, and Guru placed a large hand on his skull. Spinal trembled nervously.
        "Yes, you do have great powers sleeping within," Guru said. "Close your eyes and relax."
        Spinal did as he was told; suddenly, he felt a flow of power throughout his body.
        "Whoa!" he exclaimed.
        "It is done," Guru said. "But I warn you, it may not nearly be enough to defeat Frieza."
        "He’s that powerful?" Spinal asked.
        "Darn right, he is!" Nail jumped in. "You’re a fool if you actually intend to fight him alone."
        "Don’t worry; I have friends helping me," Spinal said. "So don’t be surprised if you get more visitors asking about Frieza. Well, I’d better be going now."
        "Good luck, Spinal," Guru said.
        Spinal walked out of the building and went out to find me.
        "Well, how did it go?" I asked.
        "It was great," Spinal said. "Guru actually awakening my sleeping power!"
        I grinned. "Excellent. Now you can fly beside me without using your stupid little galaxy glider."
        "What? Fly? How?"
        "Just think. Imagine that you’re flying. It’s as simple as that."
        I began to fly away, slower than usual, to allow Spinal to catch up. Spinal was surprised to find himself flying close behind me.
        "Wow, this is great!" he exclaimed. "I feel incredible!"
        "Once you get the hang of it, you won’t need to think about it," I told him. "It’ll be spontaneous."
        "So what now?" Spinal asked.
        "Now we sit down and think of a plan," I replied.
        So we headed down to the ground.....

***

        Meanwhile, Ruth went into Jenny’s room to check on her.
        "Jenny, you lazy gal! It’s past your waking time!"
        "Oh Ruth," Jenny groaned. "I don’t think I can put a foot out of bed. I’m as sick as a dog....."
        "Did Vegeta tell you where he was going?" Ruth asked.
        "No.....I didn’t even know that he’s gone."
        "Never mind; I’ll just contact him." Ruth opened up her ring. "Vegeta, come in. This is Ruth. Do you read me?"
        "Yeah, yeah, what is it?" I asked.
        "We were just wondering where you are," Ruth said. "What are you doing?"
        "Oh, nothing important," I lied. "Spinal and I are just taking time off on the planet Namek."
        "Namek?" Jenny asked weakly. "Isn’t that where Piccolo is from?"
        "Come to think of it, it is," Spinal thought.
        "Okay, we were just checking," Ruth said. "Ruth out."

***

        Back on Namek, Spinal and I sat on the ground.
        "Vegeta, why is it so important to take down Frieza?" Spinal asked.
        "Frieza has practically raised me since I was a child," I told him. "He made me his slave, he destroyed my planet, and he killed my father!"
        "Oh.....that explains a lot about you," Spinal said.
        "What’s that supposed to mean!? You have no idea what it’s like to be a slave!"
        "Yes, I do. I was resurrected solely to be a slave. The master’s name was Gargos. He tortured me on a regular basis."
        I smiled. "Ah, so that’s why you’re so timid!"
        Spinal sighed. "Uh.....yeah. What I still don’t understand is why you had to drag me out here."
        "It’s really simple. You see, I’m quite fond of you, Spinal. I’d always had the feeling that we had something in common, yet I never knew what it was....until now." I placed a hand on Spinal’s shoulder. "As they say, birds of a feather should flock together. And together, we’ll defeat Frieza and avenge the Saiyan race! Are you with me!?" I held a hand out towards Spinal.
        "Yeah, sure," Spinal said flatly.
        "Come on, Spinal; where is your enthusiasm?" I asked.
        "I don’t have any," Spinal told me. "To tell the truth, I’m not looking forward to fighting Frieza. Just promise me one thing, Vegeta. Promise that you won’t turn into that big beast again."
        "Don’t worry. Without my tail, I can’t transform," I assured him. "I’m only sorry that I’m not lying."
        Spinal looked at me suspiciously.
        "Well, well, look who’s back?" a voice called.
        Spinal and I gasped and stood up.
        Zarbon and Dodoria slowly lowered themselves to the ground.
        "You should listen to your little friend, Vegeta," Zarbon said. "He’s a heck of a lot smarter than you are."
        "You’re wrong, Zarbon," I said. "He’s just a little wuss. But his power combined with my Saiyan strength will destroy Frieza once and for all. If he really wanted me to serve him, he would’ve thought twice before destroying my planet."
        "You’d better hope that you can back up those words," Zarbon said. "Because Frieza ordered us to take you both to him alive."
        "Oh no!" Spinal whined.
        "Don’t worry," I whispered to him. "They’re not taking us anywhere."
        "Wanna bet, Saiyan freak!?" Dodoria shouted.
        "I’m taking Vegeta," Zarbon said. "You take the little one."
        I rushed at Zarbon while Dodoria advanced on Spinal.
        "Now don’t be afraid, little one," Dodoria cooed. "This won’t hurt you too much."
        He threw a pink energy ball at Spinal, who quickly rolled out of the way. Spinal got up and threw a flaming skull at Dodoria, who seemed to disappear.
        "Hey, where’d he go?" Spinal asked.
        Dodoria reappeared behind Spinal and grabbed him.
        "Hey Zarbon!" he called. "I’ll go ahead and take this one back to Frieza!"
        "No!" Spinal cried. "Let go of me, you big bully!"
        He stomped on Dodoria’s foot and elbowed him in the stomach. Dodoria glared at him angrily.
        "I’ll get you!" he growled.
        He rushed at Spinal, who thrust both hands out and fired yellow energy bolts from each finger. Dodoria froze as the bolts hit him. After a minute, the bolts disappeared, and Dodoria’s lifeless body fell to the ground.
        "Wow.....I did it......" Spinal thought. "I actually beat him!"
        He went to check on me, and I was beating Zarbon mercilessly. I punched Zarbon in the face several times, then spin kicked him in the face. I tossed Zarbon into the air and pummeled his stomach, then flew over him and stomped on his back. Finally, I grabbed Zarbon by the hair and, while hovering upside down, spun him around so fast that he became a blur. I threw Zarbon to the ground and threw multiple energy blasts at him.
        Seeing this, Spinal fell to the ground and started bawling. When I landed on the ground, I was surprised to see Spinal sobbing.
        "Spinal, what’s wrong?" I asked.
        "After the way you beat that guy, I don’t see how I’m going to be any help," Spinal told me. "You dragged me out here at midnight, and I just don’t have a chance against Frieza."
        "I appreciate that you’re jealous of my skills," I said. "But just think of what Frieza is capable of. I think we should take care of him now, before anything else happens."
        We flew into the air once again.

***

        Arbin went into Jenny’s bedroom. Jenny was still in her bed coughing.
        "Are you all right?" Arbin asked.
        "I suppose," Jenny said. "I’ve got a bad cough, and it’s wiping me out."
        "You sure chose an opportune time to be sick."
        "Why is that?"
        "Beta told us that Vegeta and Spinal went down to Namek to fight a villain named Frieza," Arbin explained. "The problem is that Frieza is at least three times more powerful than Vegeta. He and Spinal don’t stand a chance against Frieza."
        Jenny sighed. "Why don’t you take the team down there and give them a hand. By working together, you can overcome any powerful force."
        "You’re not coming?" Arbin asked.
        "I’m sick, Arbin; I can’t come," Jenny told him.
        "All right, I’ll go," Arbin said.
        "But if you desperately need me, go ahead and call me," Jenny added.
        "All right." Arbin left the room to gather up the Spice Club.

***

        "There it is," I told Spinal. "That’s Frieza’s spaceship."
        "You call that a spaceship?" Spinal asked. "It looks like a crab without pinchers."
        "Spaceships come in all shapes and sizes nowadays," I said. "Oh, we’re in luck. Frieza’s not home."
        "How can you tell?"
        "Because there are guards out here.....but not for long."
        I fired energy blasts, blowing all of the guards away before they knew what hit them. Then Spinal and I slowly lowered ourselves to the ship’s roof.
        "In here," I instructed.
        "Down there?" Spinal asked. "Don’t go down there; it’s dark!"
        "What?" I gave him a surprised look. "Are you scared, Spinal? Are you afraid? Come on!"
        I lowered myself into the dark hallway. Fortunately, there were lights at the bottom.
        "Well, what’s taking you so long?" I called. "We don’t have all millennium, you know."
        I began to walk down the hallway, and Spinal crashed on the floor behind me. Spinal stood up and looked around.
        "Wow, look at this place!"
        "Freeze!" a voice called from behind.
        Spinal spun around to see one of Frieza’s guards. He screamed and ran down the hall, tripping over me, knocking me down to the floor also. That’s something he does to me a lot, and I’m getting sick of it.
        "Spinal......" I groaned. "Next time you flee in terror, kindly watch where you’re going."
        Some more guards ran out in front of me, then gasped.
        "Oh no!" a guard cried. "It’s Vegeta! It can’t be!"
        "They’re actually afraid of us?" Spinal asked.
        "Not ‘us,’" I told him. "Just me."
        "Oh......right."
        Frieza’s guards knew me well. They knew how powerful I was. Much more powerful than they could imagine. They knew that I have the power to be.....
        Naughty......
        I walked down the hallway, and the guards walked with me. I pretended not to notice. Spinal wondered what was going on.
        One guard charged at me from behind, but I punched it so hard, his helmet shattered. Then I stopped at a door.
        "Where is Frieza!?" I demanded. "I want an answer right now!"
        The guards gasped and trembled. Frustrated, I held out a palm and fired a massive energy blast. When the smoke cleared, it left several piles of ashes.
        "That takes care of that," I said.
        A remaining guard attacked Spinal from behind. Spinal screamed, then elbowed the guard and punched his face. I spun around.
        "Spinal.....do my eyes deceive me, or did you actually take out a guard all by yourself?"
        Spinal shrugged. "Sorry."
        "This way."
        I led Spinal into the room, which was full of high-tech stuff.
        "Wow, look at this stuff!" Spinal said. "What are we doing in here?"
        "We’re waiting for Frieza to come home," I told him. "In the meantime, I need to recharge my strength."
        I climbed into the water tank and relaxed.
        “You’re just going to swim around and relax?” Spinal asked.
        “Of course,” I told him.  “With you as my watchdog, I feel real safe.  Just let me know if you see something suspicious.  You could let me know when the common cold comes around.”
        "Very funny."
        "Spinal, you really ought to change that cowardly personality of yours."
        "Maybe I don’t want to change!" Spinal replied. "Maybe I like myself just the way I am."
        I chuckled. I liked him just the way he was myself. "I find that hard to believe. I happen to like the way I am as well. Hmm....when I’m finished here, I’ll be my old Super Saiyan self."
        "Super Saiyan? Let’s not get into that again......"
        Obviously, Spinal didn’t believe that I could actually become a Super Saiyan. But someday, I will. And when I do, I’ll be able to get REALLY.....
        Naughty.....

***

        Meanwhile, the other Spices flew over Namek looking for some clues.
        "Hey, check out that weird tower up ahead!" Fulgore called.
        "It might be the leader of this planet," Arbin suggested. "We should go to him for information."
        The Spices flew over to the tower and hopped off their galaxy gliders. Again, Nail stepped out to greet them.
        "What do you want?" he demanded.
        "We’re visitors from the colony of Arturus," Arbin replied. "Are you the leader of Namek?"
        "No. Why do you want to see him?"
        "We need to know more about Frieza so that we could defeat him."
        Nail looked confused. "Strange. There was a skeleton fellow here earlier asking about Frieza."
        "I find that hard to believe," Fulgore said. "There’s no way that Spinal would be motivated to fight someone who’s three times more powerful than Vegeta."
        "Come on in," Nail said. "Master Guru can awaken your sleeping powers."
        "Sleeping powers?" the twins asked in unison. "Cool!"
        The Spices walked into the tower.
        "Master Guru," Nail announced. "We have more visitors looking to defeat Frieza."
        Guru smiled weakly. "The more, the merrier. By working together, you can defeat Frieza. We don’t have much time, so let me see if I can awaken your sleeping power. Join hands, and one of you stand here beside me."
        Arbin stood beside Guru, and they all joined hands. Guru worked his magic, awakening the powers within the heroes.
        "Wow, this is great!" Ruth said.
        "You should all be able to fly now," Jeice said.
        "Fly? For real?" Gazelle asked.
        "Yes. Just imagine that you’re flying, and it’ll happen in reality," Jeice explained. "Try to imagine yourself going like this...."
        Jeice clenched his fists, and a soft orange flame surrounded him. The others concentrated, and found themselves doing the same thing.
        "And now, we go, go, go!!" Jeice flew into the air.
        "Hey, wait for us!" Carlos cried.
        The group flew after Jeice.

***

        Spinal looked around nervously as he felt something strange approaching.
        "Uh-oh.....I’ve got a bad feeling here," he told himself. "Could it be Black Shadow? No.....it’s too horrible!"
        He rushed to the window and saw someone about to land on top of the ship. He hadn’t seen this figure before, but he had a pretty good guess as to who it was.
        "Ooooohhhh......" Spinal rushed to me and pounded on the tank violently. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. The little wimp was hopping up and down, pointing towards the window. He was so panicked that he couldn’t even speak! As he was blubbering incoherently, he threw his hand to the ground, and a puff of smoke rose from his feet. When the smoke cleared, he had become a large, pink monster with sharp teeth, icicle horns, and twig limbs. He snarled at me for a few seconds, then changed back to normal in another puff of smoke. This whole thing had me puzzled.
        "Oh Spinal, would you knock it off!?" I yelled. "I’m trying to sleep!"
        But then, I gasped. I definitely felt some powerful dark force heading straight for us. "You’re right. I sense a powerful force. It’s Frieza!!!"
        "Frieza! I was afraid of that...." Spinal muttered.
        "Come on!" I grabbed Spinal’s wrist and burst out the window of Frieza’s ship. We were gone before Frieza could turn. I hastily landed in a ditch.
        "Vegeta, I thought you were going to take out Frieza," Spinal said.
        "I hadn’t planned on Frieza arriving so soon," I told him. "He caught me off guard there."
        "Letting your guard down, Vegeta?" Frieza called from above. "Naughty."
        Spinal trembled uncontrollably as I glared at Frieza.
        "I always knew that you’d return someday, Vegeta," Frieza continued. "But I never knew when. Now I realize that you’ve been waiting to place other lives in jeopardy. Not only will your life end, but your little bony friend will be put out of his misery as well. I guarantee you that."
        Spinal was seconds away from sobbing. Fortunately, he managed to hold his sobs in. However, his trembling gave away his true emotions.
        "Why didn’t you just continue to obey me?" Frieza asked. "Everything would have been fine! But no, you had to turn on me, you greedy little slob! How dare you meddle in my affairs! I could have been ruler of the universe! I hate you!"
        Spinal ducked behind me.
        "What do I care how you feel about me?" I asked. "I can’t believe that I was ever nice to you in the first place, especially after all the terrible things you’ve done to me!"
        "Vegeta, Vegeta......" Frieza cooed. "What have I ever done to you?"
        "You destroyed my planet, you killed my father, and you kidnapped me when I was a child!" I shouted. "The time has come for me to seize vengeance once and for all."
        "Vegeta kidnapped?" Spinal thought. "That’s a bit unheard of."
        "You cold-hearted monster!" he screamed at Frieza.
        "Oh please; I’m not into flattery," Frieza said, blushing.
        I turned to Spinal. "Frieza will expect you to back up your words, so I suggest that you keep your mouth shut."
        "Okay," Spinal whispered.
        "Hey Frieza, why don’t you transform already?" I suggested. "You want to finish me off as soon as possible, right?"
        "Actually, I wasn’t planning to kill you, but now you leave me no choice," Frieza replied.
        I grabbed Spinal’s wrist. "Come on; let’s get out of here!" I insisted, flying away as fast as I could.
        "Where are we going!?" Spinal cried.
        "We’re getting the hell out of here," I told him. "We have to find a spot where we can fight Frieza on our terms!"
        "Yeah; I was beginning to feel trapped back there."
        But suddenly, Frieza appeared in front of us. I came to a screeching halt. Spinal would’ve crashed into Frieza if he hadn’t maintained a grip on my outer armor. He sprang back into me, wrapping himself around my head, trembling.
"This looks like a good spot," Frieza said.
        So here I was, staring Frieza down, ready to take my revenge once and for all. And here was this trembling pile of bones wrapped around me like a python. I can’t believe how embarrassing this was! Perhaps dragging the little wuss out here in the middle of the night wasn’t such a good idea after all. His spineless, sniveling attitude was preventing me from being.....
        Naughty.....
        "You’re right," I said. "This is a good spot."
        I dropped down to the ground, landing nimbly on my feet, and Frieza followed. As I still held Spinal by the wrist, the skeleton warrior crashed on his face. He stood up, still trembling in an overwhelming fear.
        "Let’s get it on!" I cried. "Better yet, why don’t you do that transformation thing?"
        "So you know my little secret, huh?" Frieza asked.
        "Of course. Your bumbling minion Zarbon told me about it," I said.
        "All right. I’ll show you......" Frieza began to concentrate deeply. After a moment, his armor crumbled and fell off, and he grew only a little bit in size.
        "Happy now, Vegeta?" Frieza asked.
        "Don’t be silly!" I cried. "That was no transformation!"
        "Uh.....Vegeta?" Spinal began.
        "Okay, let’s try some more." Frieza concentrated again, and he began to grow even larger. His horns protruded even more from his head.
        Spinal gave me a shove. "You had to open your big mouth, didn’t you!?"
        Then the other Spices landed nearby. They immediately joined Spinal and me. They faced Frieza in a basic fighting stance.
        "Boy, am I glad to see you guys!" Spinal exclaimed.
        "What are you doing here!?" I growled. "Spinal and I were doing just fine on our own."
        "I seriously doubt it, Vegeta," Pico said. "You’re already in a bind, and you know it. Besides, the last time I saw a face like Frieza’s, I got sick to my stomach, and I needed immediate medical attention."
        Frieza laughed. "You’ll be needing medical attention when I’m through with you!" he called.
        "How did you find out our true intentions anyway?" I asked the Spices.
        "Faithful Beta overheard your early conversation and told us," Arbin said.
        "That big mouth computer!" I growled.
        "Shall we get on with the show?" Frieza asked. "You’re just in time for me to announce that my power level in this form is over one million!"
        The Spices gasped.
        "For real!?" Hallie cried.
        "No, don’t listen to him!" I told her. "That’s impossible, even for him!"
        "Party’s over, Frieza!" Fulgore shouted. "We’re gonna take you down!"
        "I’d like to see you try."
        "No!" I shouted. "This fight is mine and mine alone!"
        "That settles it!" Spinal cried. "You never wanted me to help you at all, did you? You just dragged me out here for nothing, didn’t you!?"
        "Well, to be frank, yeah," I responded.
        Frieza chuckled. "You haven’t changed a bit, Vegeta. You just had to risk someone else’s life, didn’t you? Now you die!"
        "Ooooh......." The Spices scrambled around, looking for a hiding place. The Cryptkeeper even resorted to crawling on his hands and knees. Retarded, if you ask me.
        "Vegeta, you really should let them help you," Frieza said. "They’ve come all this way to die with you. Besides, it’ll be more of a fair fight. You just might survive."
        He lifted a finger at me and fired a powerful energy blast. I disappeared, then reappeared in another spot. Frieza fired another blast, and I avoided it again. This was repeated several more times.
        "Let’s go, mates!" Jeice called. "Let’s attack Frieza while he’s distracted!"
        Jeice and Yamcha fired a blast of their own at Frieza. The cold villain turned to them and fired back. Jeice and Yamcha leaped out of the way. Ruth and her daughters then fired a blast at Frieza. Frieza turned and fired back. His blast eliminated theirs, and the girls leaped out of the way.
        "Our turn," Pico muttered.
        He and Fulgore took their shot at Frieza. However, Frieza reacted in the same way. But then Pico rushed at Frieza and engaged in physical combat. Frieza punched Pico’s abdomen and gave him an uppercut to the chin, sending the alien turtle to the ground. Pico stood up and glared at Frieza.
        "I’m sure we’ve never met before, but you look awfully familiar," Frieza said.
        "Huh? What are you talking about?" Pico asked. "How could I look familiar if we’ve never met before?"
        "Now let me think....." Frieza said softly. "Where did I see your ugly face before? Oh, now I remember."
        He pulled out what looked like a scroll and held it in front of him. Then, in a sudden motion, he unrolled it, revealing a WANTED poster with photos of Pico on it. Pico gasped.
        "Damn it to hell!" he yelled. "Where the hell did you get that!"
        "Copies of this WANTED poster were sent to residents all over the universe, good or evil," Frieza explained. "It appears that there’s a big price on your head. I know exactly who you are. You are called Pico, a member of the elite Poripoto army. Your unit was responsible for the deaths of over seventy top officials; in each case, the killer was never seen, heard, or captured. Rumor has it that you killed all of your fellow soldiers after you received your Poripoto badge. This poster says that they’ll take you dead or alive. So whether or not I kill you wouldn’t make a difference to me."
        "Pico, I had no idea!" Yamcha called.
        So Pico had quite a bloody past. If all of Frieza’s claims were true, then Pico truly was bad. He wasn’t just bad, but he was dangerous. He was.....
        Naughty......
        But now it appears that the perfectly stealthy assassin has met his match.
        Pico ignored Yamcha’s comment. "Killing me is easier said than done," he told Frieza. "They don’t put that big a price on my head for nothing."
        "Save your breath, turtle boy," Frieza said. "You’ll need it for the battle!"
        He rushed at Pico with everything he had. The two warriors clashed with a variety of punches and kicks. When Frieza knocked Pico down, Pico rolled aside and thrust both feet upward, knocking Frieza into the air. Frieza began to fly into the air. Pico got up and flew after him.
        "Come back here!!!" he demanded.
        "Go, Pico!" the kids cheered.
        Frieza attacked again, and the fighting resumed. During the battle, Frieza began to push Pico towards a cliff until they crashed. Frieza pinned the turtle down.
        "Oh no!" Chiaotzu cried. "We’ve got to help him!"
        Fulgore rushed towards Frieza and kicked his face, knocking the villain aside. Pico quickly flew into the air. Chiaotzu flew behind Frieza and grabbed his tail. Frieza began flapping his tail, trying to get the little clown off, but Chiaotzu held on tightly.
        "Hang on, Chiaotzu!" Yamcha shouted. "You’re doing great! Keep it up!"
        "Spinal, come over here," I called softly.
        Spinal flew towards me uneasily. "Yes?"
        "Go back to Frieza’s ship and see if you can find any weapons," I instructed. "Do you remember where it is?"
        "Uh......not really," Spinal replied.
        I pointed to my right. "It’s over in that direction. Hurry."
        "And I’m out of here!" Spinal began flying in the direction that I had indicated.
        Frieza spotted the little guy from the corner of his eye. He disappeared, then reappeared right in front of Spinal. Spinal gasped as he put on the brakes.
        "Excuse me, runt, but I really hate it when someone leaves and doesn’t say goodbye," Frieza said with a laugh.
        Spinal stared at him, trembling and whimpering as usual. What should he do? If he flew away, Frieza would appear in front of him again. But he had to get to Frieza’s ship!
        "Okay......goodbye!" Spinal flew around Frieza and made another attempt to reach the ship. However, Frieza appeared in front of him again. This time, Spinal screamed.
        "So this is Vegeta’s brave little friend?" Frieza asked. "I see why he’s so fond of you. Who couldn’t adore those glowing red eyes, that whiny voice?"
        Spinal wanted to cry, but he didn’t want to look THAT cowardly in front of the villain. So he just stared, wondering why the others weren’t helping him. Frieza loved to pick on frightened victims, and Spinal fit the bill perfectly. The little saplings like Spinal gave Frieza the perfect opportunity to become......
        Naughty......
        "Come on, people!" Spinal thought. "Can’t you see that I’m in need of a little assistance here?"
        Frieza gave Spinal a hard punch to the ribcage, then an uppercut to the jaw. Then he finished off with another downward punch, sending him rocketing towards the ground. Spinal hit the ground violently, where he was badly stunned.
        "Spinal!" Jeice screamed as he ran over to the skeleton warrior. "Are you all right? Say something!"
        "He’s.....too.....fast....." Spinal groaned. "No way......can’t beat him!"
        I rushed over to him. "Spinal, what happened? Are you hurt?"
        Spinal gave me a weird look. "How can you ask me that when I’m all beaten up? Of course I’m hurt!"
        Frieza fired another blast at the group. Everyone leaped out of the way. I picked up Spinal before leaping out. Frieza looked up at each of us, spread about the battlefield.
        "All right, let’s see......" he cooed. "This is a mighty big group. Which one of you shall I kill first?"
        "You can always kill this one," Pico said, pointing at me.
        "Maybe it’ll be you," Frieza responded.
        "Fine, let it be me," Pico said. "Just hurry up and make up your cotton-picking mind."
        "Hmm......" Frieza looked over the group once again.
        "I’m getting airsick over here!!" Chiaotzu screamed, still clinging to Frieza’s flapping tail.
        "Get off my tail, you little clown!" Frieza fired a blast at Chiaotzu, knocking him off. Chiaotzu fell straight to the ground. He didn’t move after that.
        Meanwhile, Rachel was clinging to Arbin. "I’m scared, Uncle Arbin!" she whined.
        "Everything is going to be all right," Arbin assured her.
        "You know, I feel like stabbing someone with my horn," Frieza remarked.
        "Horn, huh? That gives me an idea," Arbin thought. "I’d better start concentrating. I wonder if I can get Frieza to attack me? He’ll regret it; I promise."
        Frieza took a final look at the group. "I choose......YOU!!"
        With that, he suddenly rushed at Arbin, horn extending from his head. Arbin gasped as he quickly tossed Rachel aside. Frieza rammed into Arbin, piercing his abdomen with his horn. To his horror, the horn came out of Frieza’s back instead of Arbin’s.
        "What.....what’s going on?" Frieza groaned.
        "Man, what happened?" Yamcha asked.
        "Arbin has the ability to twist space around himself," Gazelle replied. "Pretty awesome, huh? I wish I could do that."
        "Up yours.....Frieza......" Arbin groaned.
        "Up yours!" A beautiful taunt from the goody two-shoes himself! This just goes to show that even a nerd like Arbin can be bad. Even the goodiest of two-shoes can be downright......
        Naughty......
        Suddenly, both Arbin and Frieza dropped towards the water below. They hit the lake with a terrific splash.
        "Arbin!!" Rachel cried.
        The Spices looked down at the water where Arbin and Frieza had fallen. They waited for Arbin to emerge. Unfortunately, he never did.
        "Arbin, where are you!?" Ruth cried.
        "I hope he’s all right down there," Fulgore said.
        Without warning, Pico dove down from the sky and into the water. About a minute later, he emerged with Arbin draped over his shoulder. Pico landed on the ground and set Arbin down carefully.
        "You all right?" Pico asked.
        "I’ll be okay, but I’m paralyzed from the waist down," Arbin groaned.
        Suddenly, Frieza burst out of the water and landed near Pico.
        "I hate it when someone rescues my victims," Frieza said. "Since you decided to save your friend, you’ll be next."
        He charged at the alien turtle. Pico put up a hasty defense. As they clashed, the Spices flew down to the ground. I stayed in the air, still holding an injured Spinal, and Fulgore waited nearby.
        "Vegeta, you’d better give him to me," he said. "You wouldn’t know about holding small squirts like him anyway."
        "Sure." I handed Spinal to Fulgore. "For now, I think I’ll join Pico."
        I rushed to the ground to join Pico in attacking Frieza. As much as I hated the turtle man, perhaps our combined rudeness could defeat Frieza.
        "Wow, look at them go!" the Cryptkeeper cried.
        "All of that, and they still can’t even touch him!" Yamcha added.
        Frieza blasted me away, then slammed Pico to the ground and stomped on him.
        "Man, I can’t believe that he took them both out in a heartbeat!" Fulgore exclaimed.
        "What....what are we gonna do?" Spinal asked weakly. "We’re dead, aren’t we, Fulgore? We’re all dead!!"
        "Calm down, little one," Fulgore assured him. "We’ll get out of this somehow."
        As the other Spices tell me, Arbin sat up as much as he could to see both Pico and me lying unconscious on the ground.
        "That does it!" he groaned. "I’d better contact Jenny before anyone else gets hurt."
        "Vegeta!" Hallie screamed as she rushed over to me. "Come on, Veggie; breathe!"
        She began to apply CPR to me, shoving air into my mouth and punching my stomach.
        "Breathe, you son of a bitch!"
        As Hallie blew more air into my mouth, I opened my eyes. I wanted to puke when I realized that my mouth was still connected with Hallie’s. I shoved her away roughly, coughing and gasping for breath.
        "Don’t ever kiss me again!"

***

        Back on the Spice Rack, Jenny was still resting in her bed, steady as a rock. When her ring flashed, it took her more effort than usual to answer it.
        "Ugh.....I read you," she groaned.
        "Jenny, this is Arbin. We need your help fast! Frieza’s getting the best of us!"
        "Are you sure?" Jenny asked.
        "Yes!" Arbin cried. "He’s faster, stronger, you name it! He’s already injured Spinal, Pico, Vegeta, Chiaotzu, and me!"
        "But what makes you think that I’m going to make any difference?" Jenny asked.
        "Jenny, you have your special tactics that the rest of us just can’t come up with. That’s why you’re our leader! That’s why the leader is so important on our team."
        Jenny sat up. "All right! I’m on my way, but I’m not promising anything! I’m so ill, I can’t even think straight!"
        "Great! I knew we could count on you!"
        "Oh, please don’t," Jenny sighed as she closed the communication channel. She stood up, looked in the mirror, and pounded her chest. She coughed violently again. "My lungs will never hold out! But I have to go! I have to fight Frieza!"
        She left the room to save her friends. Surely this girl could save the day. Sick people tend to be cranky. And when Jenny gets cranky, she can be extraordinarily....
        Naughty.....

***

        "I have a little confession to make," Frieza said. "The only thing I don’t like about this ordeal is deciding who to kill next."
        He looked at the Spice members carefully. "Let’s see.....who’s next? Or should I just pick one of you at random?"
        "If we’re lucky, he’ll never make up his mind," Fulgore told himself.
        But then Frieza turned to him. "I choose you!" He fired a massive energy blast at Fulgore. Luckily, the cyborg managed to avoid it.
        "Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed.
        "Fulgore, look out!" Spinal whined.
        "Fly for it!" Fulgore flew away from Frieza, clutching Spinal tightly. Frieza gave chase.
        "Hey.....what’s going on?" I asked.
        "Arbin just contacted Jenny," Hallie told me. "She should be here soon."
        "What? Jenny’s coming here!?" I cried. "Now we’re REALLY hoofed."
        "What’s that supposed to mean?"
        It meant that these comic book rejects had flipped their lids if they believed that the stupid hippie girl could defeat Frieza. I wasn’t afraid to tell that to her little sister either.
        "Oh, I wouldn’t say that," Hallie said. "Jenny knows how to fight impossible villains like Frieza. She even killed Dark Specter, you know."
        "The former Grand Monarch!?" I gasped. "Jenny actually killed that big lava rock?"
        "You got it. She’s the best defender to bless this universe."
        Frieza fired an energy blast, which struck Fulgore’s back. Fulgore lost his grip on Spinal, and both warriors dropped to the ground. Spinal was still conscious. Fulgore, on the other hand, was not.

***

        Meanwhile, Jenny flew over the surface of Namek on her galaxy glider. She still had her doubts about fighting Frieza.
        "Hey, there’s a tower up ahead," she observed. "Maybe that’s where Frieza lives."
        She flew over to the tower where Guru lived, and Nail stepped out to greet her.
        "What do you want?" he asked roughly.
        "I’m looking to take down Frieza," Jenny replied. "Where is he?"
        "He’s not around here. But why don’t you come in. Master Guru can help you."
        Jenny followed Nail into the tower.
        "Master Guru, here’s another one looking to destroy Frieza," Nail announced. He turned to Jenny. "Go ahead and identify yourself."
        Jenny stepped up to Guru. "Hi.....my name is Jenny. I’m really in a hurry; my friends are in trouble."
        "I understand your concern, Jenny," Guru said weakly. "This won’t take long. Stand beside me, and I will awaken your sleeping power."
        "Sleeping power? Cool...."
        Jenny stood beside Guru, who placed a hand on top of her head. Within seconds, she felt an incredible surge of power flowing through her body. Finally, Guru pulled his hand back.
        "It is done."
        "Whoa.....this gives me goosebumps!" Jenny exclaimed. "Well, I’d better get going before Frieza makes shish kabobs out of my friends."
        "Dende, would you please show Jenny the way to the battlefield?" Guru asked.
        A Namek child stepped out. He wore a pink cloak that dropped all the way to his feet "Yes, Guru. I’m on my way. Come on, Jenny. With your new power, you should be able to fly now. Just imagine it, and it’ll happen."
        "Okay...."
        Dende flew out of the tower. Jenny imagined herself flying, and followed Dende. As they flew through the sky, they saw huge flashes near the horizon.
        "Whoa! What was that!?" Jenny gasped.
        "That was definitely Frieza," Dende told her.
        "Wow.....he’s more powerful than I imagined!" Jenny began to cough again. Dende looked at her.
        "You okay, Jenny? You don’t sound too good."
        "I just have a little cold, that’s all."
        "How terrible!" Dende exclaimed. "You’re weak! You don’t stand a chance against Frieza!"
        "I have to try!" Jenny insisted. "If I don’t try, Frieza will destroy my friends, and it’ll be my fault because I didn’t help them!"
        She began to spin around, performing mid-air flips. "Wow, this flying is great! I feel incredible!"
        "If we hurry, we can get there in time to help your friends," Dende said.
        Jenny sped up even more, eager to save her friends.

***

        "Hmm.....I still can’t decide who’s next," Frieza said.
        "Then you might as well just let us go," Yamcha told him. "What’s the point of being here if you can’t make up your mind?"
        "Don’t be silly!" Frieza boasted. "I’m on a roll! Why should I stop now? In fact, maybe you should be next."
        "Me? But I haven’t even done anything!"
        "Or maybe you." Frieza pointed a finger at the Cryptkeeper.
        "Hey, I know you’re not pointing fingers at me, man!" the Cryptkeeper snapped.
        "I know!" Frieza cried. "I’ll finish off that space twister Arbin!"
        He looked down at where Arbin was, only to see that he was gone. There was a large hole in Arbin’s place.
        "Hey.......where’d Arbin go?" Gazelle asked.
        He flew down to the hole and called into it. "Arbin!!" His voice echoed inside the hole.
        Meanwhile, the wounded Spinal lay on his back, sobbing.
        "I can’t believe this is happening! This time we’re dead meat for sure! And I don’t even have any meat! Oh Jenny, hurry up! We need you now!"
        Suddenly, a hand popped up from the ground at Spinal’s immediate left. No matter how badly injured Spinal was, he always possessed the strength to let out an ear-splitting scream. He rolled away from the hand as the rest of the body emerged. Arbin’s body.
        "Spinal, it’s just me."
        "Arbin? Don’t scare me like that!"
        "Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you," Arbin said.
        "You got lucky," Spinal told him. "Frieza was about to take you out."
        "Really? That’s not very nice," Arbin said as he reclined next to Spinal.
        The "Magic" family hovered in the air. Rachel held onto Carlos while Robyn held onto Ruth.
        "I can’t believe that we’re just floating around while our friends are getting hurt," Carlos said.
        "I know what you mean," Ruth agreed. "We should be doing something."
        But before they could do anything, they were struck by an energy blast from Frieza. All four members of the Magic family dropped to the ground where they lay motionless.
        "Ooops......my bad," Frieza cooed. "My fingers slipped."
        "Did you see that!?" Spinal gasped. "Frieza shot Ruth, Carlos, and the twins down like a flock of ducks!"
        "I saw it all right," Arbin replied. "Jenny had better get here soon, or we’re all finished."
        "How can you be so sure that Jenny can help us?" Spinal asked. "I mean, she can’t be any stronger than any of us."
        "Jenny’s strength has never depended on brute force," Arbin told him. "It’s her mind that makes her unique. Her mind is her ultimate weapon. In fact, you should know that better than I do."
        "Yamcha......" the Cryptkeeper whispered. "I have a feeling we’ll be safer on the ground."
        "Yeah, good call," Yamcha agreed as they lowered themselves to the ground. They ran to check on the Magic family. "Are they okay?"
        "They’re alive.....barely," the Cryptkeeper said.
        Suddenly, Spinal began to float from the ground.
        "Spinal, where are you going?" Arbin asked.
        "It’s not me!" Spinal cried. "I can’t help it!"
        Spinal continued to rise higher in the air until he stopped.....directly in front of Frieza.
        "You know, nothing annoys me more than a screaming pile of bones," the villain said, aiming a finger at Spinal. "Say goodnight....."
        "NOOOOO!!!!" Spinal screamed as loud as he could.
        If anything happened to my little friend, I would be forced to become very.....
        Naughty.....
        Before Frieza could deliver the fatal blow, Jenny flew into him at full speed. She rammed him straight into a nearby mountain, then flew away. She stopped and turned to face him.
        "All right, Jenny!" Gazelle called. "Nice timing!"
        Upon Jenny’s attack, Spinal dropped to the ground, where he began sobbing again.
        "I’m not gonna make it! I can’t take it; this hurts!"
        "You can look on the bright side," Arbin told him. "Jenny’s here."
        "Spinal, are you okay!?" Jenny called.
        "No, I’m not okay!" Spinal called back. "I’ve never been so ‘not okay’ in my entire afterlife!!"
        The Cryptkeeper flew up to greet Jenny. "That was one hell of an entrance," he said.
        "Thank you," Jenny said flatly.
        "Are you sure you’re up for this?"
        "Hey, I’m not going to let you guys get killed because of my illness."
        "Whatever you say." The Cryptkeeper lowered himself to the ground again.
        Frieza pulled himself out of the mountain. "Who did that!?" he demanded. "They’ll pay dearly, I swear to it."
        "That’ll be about enough!" Jenny called.
        Frieza spotted her, then smiled. "Well, look who we have here. Another hippie girl looking for death. Well, you’ve come to the right place. It won’t be long before I have you face-first in the dirt begging for mercy."
        "I may end up face-first in the dirt, but I sure as hell won’t be begging for mercy," Jenny told him.
        "Oh really? Take a look around," Frieza instructed. "Your friends are already in the dirt."
        Jenny looked around at all her fallen comrades, then looked up at Frieza. "I don’t see them begging for mercy either."
        "They don’t even have the strength."
        Meanwhile, Dende stopped next to Gazelle. "You must be Jenny’s friends."
        "Yeah......or rather, what’s left of us," Gazelle replied. "Frieza’s really giving us a beating."
        Dende looked down at the injured heroes. "What a mess!"
        Jenny continued her face-off against Frieza. "Nobody messes with my friends and gets away with it! I’m gonna take you down!"
        "You talk tough," Frieza said. "But can you back up your words?"
        "Well, I have to confess that I’m not at full strength."
        "What a coincidence. I’m not at full strength either. And look what I’ve accomplished!"
        "Enough talk, Frieza!" Jenny cried. "Pull it together and show me what you’ve got!"
        "Is it me, or does she seem braver than usual when she’s sick?" the Cryptkeeper asked.
        "Beats me," Yamcha said. "You know her better than I do."
        Frieza chuckled briefly. "This should be a piece of cake. A mere woman wouldn’t survive for a minute against me."
        "We’ll see," Jenny responded, taking a midair fighting stance. "On your mark....."
        Frieza took a fighting stance of his own. "Get set....."
        "GO!!" Jenny rushed at Frieza at full speed and attacked with a flurry of punches and kicks. Frieza blocked or dodged them all. After a minute, they backed away from each other.
        "Hmm.....you are much better than I expected," Frieza admitted. "I should have suspected that you’d be fast, being a woman and all."
        "What does my gender have to do with anything?" Jenny asked.
        "You see, women tend to have the advantage in speed rather than physical strength," Frieza said. "Nevertheless, my power, strength, and speed all exceed yours. In fact, I’ll tell you what I told your friends; my power level in this form is over one million."
        "Don’t believe him!!" I shouted. "That’s not true!"
        Jenny laughed out loud. "One million! Get out of here! Even if your power level was a million, it’s still not enough. I don’t have to be more powerful than you to beat you."
        Frieza gasped. "How dare you talk like that!!"
        He rushed at Jenny again. Once again, they blocked each other’s attacks. This time, Frieza got a punch through to Jenny’s stomach, then followed with an uppercut to the chin, sending her flipping backwards. Jenny managed to steady herself, but continued to do backflips, which grew faster and faster.
        "What is she doing?" Yamcha asked.
        "I don’t know," the Cryptkeeper replied. "But she’s definitely learned some new tricks."
        Suddenly, Jenny flew at Frieza at an unbelievable speed, thrusting both fists into his chest. Frieza flew backwards, then stopped himself.
        I made my way over to Spinal. "Spinal, are you all right?"
        Arbin looked surprised. "Since when did you care about us?"
        "I don’t care about you," I snapped. "But Spinal here is my friend. My one and only friend. My true friend."
        Spinal looked straight up at the fight in the sky. "Wow, look at her go!"
        "There’s something different about her," Arbin said. "She’s definitely stronger than before."
        "Would you two get a clue!?" I shouted. "The woman is finished, all right!?"
        Jenny looked down at me. "Hmph!" She turned back to Frieza sharply, so that her hair whipped up over her head. She rushed at the villain. Frieza formed a large fireball and hurled it at her. Jenny quickly moved around the fireball and proceeded, only to find that Frieza was gone. She stopped abruptly in midair.
        "Where’d he go?" she wondered.
        "Hey Jenny, watch your back!!" the Cryptkeeper shouted.
        Jenny turned to catch a glimpse of Frieza as he flew at her, pounding her back fiercely. The blow sent her zooming to the ground, sliding face-first across the dirt. By the time she stopped, her face was well covered. She stood up, covering her face, groaning in pain.
        "Jenny, are you okay?" the Cryptkeeper asked.
        Jenny slowly removed her hands from her face and brushed the dirt off. Frieza landed on the ground with a vicious grin.
        "Now, now, don’t tell me that you’re throwing in the towel already," he said. "That was just a taste of what I have planned for you."
        Now Jenny had to deal with her coughing problem once again. Frieza’s eyes brightened.
        "Oh, are we ill?" he asked. "Silly, silly girl. You choose to fight the most powerful warrior in the universe while your body is weaker than usual?"
        Jenny spun around, breathing heavily. "Shut up! I haven’t begun to fight, you sick woman impersonator!"
        "Oooh......." Yamcha and the Cryptkeeper muttered simultaneously.
        I had to admit that she was talking tough today. Her sickness was clouding up her emotions and eating away at her brain. Jenny was getting angry. She was getting.....
        Naughty......
        "I’m ready for more. Watch this." Frieza began to transform again. The Spices gasped as his form became larger and more hideous. "So, what do you think of my new form?"
        The Cryptkeeper let out a prolonged, high-pitched scream. Yamcha nodded, his eyes wide.
        "My thoughts exactly!"
        "And now, for your viewing pleasure, I shall now merge into my ultimate form." Frieza’s ultimate form was smaller. His horns were gone, now replaced by a bald, shiny purple head. The rest of his body was white with a purple hexagon on his chest.
        "Great. Are you going to fight now?" Jenny asked impatiently.
        "Ready when you are," Frieza responded.
        Jenny resumed her fighting stance. "Ready?"
        "Go!" Frieza attacked without warning. He punched Jenny in the stomach, then brought his elbow down sharply on the top of her head. Jenny quickly moved aside, as Frieza attempted to stomp on her. Jenny stood up, but then noticed that she was surrounded by a yellow glow.
        "Hey, what are you doing?" Jenny gasped. She started to charge at Frieza, but she only bounced off the yellow field. "Ow! What is this?"
        Frieza just smiled as he lifted the yellow bubble with Jenny trapped inside. Jenny pounded on the walls, but couldn’t break out.
        "Hey! Let me out!" she demanded.
        "C.K., now’s our chance to nail Frieza and get Jenny out of there," Yamcha suggested. "Ready?"
        He and the Cryptkeeper put their palms together, gathering energy for a fireball. Frieza turned to them.
        "I wouldn’t do that if I were you," he said. "If anything touches this bubble other than me, it will explode, and that would mean the end of Tinkerbell here."
        "Tinkerbell!?" Jenny gasped. "Why you!!"
        She pounded on the edges of the bubble, but she was still sealed inside.
        "Fasten your seatbelt," Frieza instructed. "This is going to be a bumpy ride indeed."
        With that, he whacked the bubble with his tail, causing it to fly out of sight in the blink of an eye. Frieza flew after it.
        Spinal began sobbing again. He reached out in the direction that Jenny had disappeared with a trembling hand. "Jenny! No!"
        "Hey Spinal, do you think you could scream any louder?" I asked. "I could still hear out of this ear."
        Spinal paused, then screamed even louder. I covered my ears.
        Meanwhile, Jenny screamed just as loud as the bubble zipped through the sky, as she had no control over it. Frieza appeared and kicked the bubble in the other direction. Then he moved to kick it again. The others could see the glowing bubble in the distance.
        "Man, she’s bouncing around like a pinball!" Yamcha cried.
        "Poor girl," the Cryptkeeper muttered.
        "I wish I knew what to do!" Gazelle cried.
        "I would just free Jenny and get out of here," Dende said.
        "And let Frieza carry on his reign of terror? You’re nuts!"
        "Frieza’s too powerful! There’s no way anyone could stop him!"
        Frieza stopped the bubble. Jenny was still inside, gasping and trembling.
        "Well, that was fun," Frieza said. "But now it’s time to tuck you in and say goodnight."
        With that, he punched the bubble towards a mountain. Jenny braced herself for the explosion, as an idea came to her. As the bubble hit the mountain and exploded, Jenny leaped aside, the force of the explosion sending her flying. She tried to land on her feet, but the force was too strong, so she went into a forward roll. The force was still too strong when she came out of her roll, so she fell down again.
        "Jenny.....are you okay?" Arbin asked weakly.
        Jenny slowly picked herself up. She was dirtier than ever.
        "Yeah......okay enough to teach Frieza some manners," she groaned.
        "Is she nuts?" I thought. "There’s no way that she could have the strength to beat Frieza. But then again, I’m not about to tell her that she shouldn’t try it."
        Frieza returned to the scene and landed near Jenny. "What? You’re still alive? How can that be? I could have sworn that you were done for!"
        Jenny turned her back sharply and walked a few steps away. "Try and try as hard as you wish, but you’ll never defeat me. You don’t have the heart."
        Frieza looked surprised. "How dare you! How could you possibly say that to me?"
        Jenny spun around to face Frieza. "Only those with a good heart could ever hope to defeat me."
        Frieza growled. "Take that!" He rushed at her with a flurry of attacks.
        "Go, girl!" the Cryptkeeper shouted. "Get down! Get dirty!"
        The attacks continued until Frieza made an uppercut to Jenny’s chin, knocking her back towards Arbin, Spinal, and me. To our surprise, she struggled to get up again.
        "Jenny, are you sure you want to continue fighting?" Arbin asked.
        "Of course!" Jenny responded.
        "Why bother?" Frieza asked. "You know you can’t win. Why not give up now and make it easy on yourself?"
        "That’s enough!" Jenny cried. "I’ll either defeat you or die trying!"
        "Or you could try dying!" I suggested.
        "Vegeta, when all this is over, you’ll realize that Frieza is just another bad guy with a mouthful of ludicrous crap-o-rama," Jenny told him.
        "So, you don’t believe in my power, huh?" Frieza observed. "I guess I’ll need to be more convincing. However, I’m going to ask you again to give up."
        "Forget it!" Jenny responded. "I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees!"
        She charged at Frieza again.
        "This is nuts!" Yamcha cried. "She obviously doesn’t have any strength left!"
        "Of course she doesn’t," the Cryptkeeper replied. "She never had any strength to begin with. She’s relying solely on courage."
        "That’s it? Just courage?"
        "Well......and then there’s brains. That’s all she really needs, courage and brains."
        Frieza shoved Jenny away, then rammed a fireball into her. She crashed on the ground again. She tasted a mouthful of blood, and it was disgusting! She was about to spit it out, but then got a better idea. However, she had to refrain from coughing, which wasn’t easy. If she could only get face-to-face with Frieza, her plan could work. She attacked again, but Frieza spin around, whipping her face with his tail. Jenny hit the ground another time, a little blood escaping from her mouth. She clamped her hand over it and stood up shakily.
        "Okay, lost a little blood here," she thought. "No harm done. I can still do this."
        "What’s the matter?" Frieza asked. "Did you finally run out of bold words to say? That’s okay, because I think that now is a good time to reduce you and your oddballs down to nothing but dust."
        Jenny held her ground, assuming a shaky fighting stance. Frieza threw a large energy ball at her. Jenny leaped forward, flipping over it. When she landed on the ground, she held both arms above her head, straining her sore muscles. She formed a pink energy ball in her hands, then held it out in front of her. The energy ball grew curved arms, making it look like a spiral galaxy. Then Jenny launched herself at Frieza, the arms spinning around the energy ball. The blow caused a massive explosion, sending Frieza flying backwards. The other Spices cheered.
        "That’s another point for Jenny!" Gazelle declared. He turned to Dende. "By the way, I didn’t catch your name."
        "I’m Dende."
        "Cool. I’m Mighty Gazelle.....but you could just call me Gazelle."
        "Wow, she is good!" Yamcha cried.
        "She never fails to amaze me," the Cryptkeeper said. "I’ve always said that she was pretty fly, but this is not what I had in mind."
        Frieza was back in the battlefield in no time. Without warning, he punched her stomach, then uppercutted her to the ground. As she fell, Frieza stomped on her chest, then landed in front of her. Miraculously, Jenny held the blood in her mouth. Even more blood leaked into her mouth. But she had to carry out her plan soon, as the blood was about to make her retch. She stood up, bearing the intense pain throughout her body. She was surprised that she was still going. She staggered over towards Frieza and leaned against him, embracing him lightly and resting her head on his shoulder, gasping for breath.
        "My, what’s this?" Frieza asked with a smile. "All this time, I thought you hated me. But I must admit that you have such a soothing touch. Now I see why so many men fall for you, Jenny Lynn Kinkade.”
        Jenny’s eyes widened. "How did he know my name?"
        “On the other hand, it wouldn’t hurt to play along, would it?” Frieza asked.
        He splayed a hand on the small of her back, and placed the other on the back of her head.
        “I cannot believe I am seeing this!” Yamcha exclaimed.
        Frieza grabbed Jenny by the hair and pulled back on it, still pressing his other hand into her back.  Jenny looked into his bloodshot eyes.  Suddenly, she spit the blood directly into his eyes, blinding him. Frieza pulled back, covering his face.
        "Aaargh! You dirty little slut!" he screamed.
        Jenny just laughed, bearing her bloodstained teeth. It was the most wicked grin I had seen from her. The grin made her look radically....
        Naughty......
        "What did she do?" Spinal asked.
        "I believe she spit blood in Frieza’s face," Arbin said.
        "Yuck, that is disgusting!" I cried. "But then again, I love a woman with a sick mind."
        Taking advantage of Frieza’s blindness, Jenny attacked like a hungry wolf. She pummeled him with her fierce punches and kicks. She ended her combo with a quick foot sweep, flipping Frieza onto his head.
        "What did I tell you?" the Cryptkeeper said to Yamcha. "Brains."
        "Yep."
        Frieza stood up and wiped the blood out of his eyes. "Smart move. But you’ve only shortened your life even more. Are you aware that up to now I’ve only been toying with you?"
        "And are you aware that when you eat a steak, you’re eating a cow’s butt?" the Cryptkeeper asked.
        "I was not aware of that," Yamcha said.
        "I’m getting awfully tired of this game," Frieza said.
        "You know, I couldn’t agree better! More! At all! Whatever!" Jenny responded.
        She rushed at Frieza and attempted a punch, but he grabbed her fist and crushed it. As she cried out in pain, Frieza wrapped his tail around her neck. He floated into the air, then began spinning. He spun so fast that he became a blur. He released Jenny, and she crashed through the mountain. She hit the ground, where she lay motionless.
        "Oh no! Sis!!" Hallie cried.
        "I told you that she was as good as dead," I said.
        And now that Jenny was defeated, Frieza could surely get pretty damn.....
        Naughty......
        "That Frieza....I hate him!" Spinal sobbed as he stood up shakily. "I’ll get you!"
        "Spinal, what are you doing?" I asked impatiently. "Get your bony butt back down here!"
        Spinal gathered energy into his hands and threw a flaming skull at Frieza. Unfortunately, his aim was off, and the flaming skull flew right past Frieza. Spinal collapsed again before Frieza could turn around.
        "Who did that?" Frieza asked.
        Spinal whimpered softly. "I didn’t do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything."
        Frieza flew down and stood over Jenny’s unconscious body. "Well, it looks like I’ve defeated the leader of the legendary Spice Club. Since she’s the one who killed the mighty Dark Specter, I should become the new Grand Monarch."
        "Too bad the title’s already taken," the Cryptkeeper whispered. "Yamcha, let’s blast him on the count of ten."
        "You got it," Yamcha replied.
        They gathered energy in their hands, and the Cryptkeeper made the count.
        "One......two.....ten!"
        They fired at Frieza, who leaped into the air and hovered.
        "Marshmallows! Missed!" C.K. and Yamcha cried in unison.
        Frieza looked around the battlefield. "Oh my, what a mess." He looked at all the defeated Spices: Jenny directly below him, Pico and Chiaotzu to the right; Arbin, Spinal, and me lying side by side to the left; Fulgore at the far left; and Ruth, Carlos, Robyn, and Rachel off to the side. Then he looked at the remaining Spices: the Cryptkeeper, Yamcha, Gazelle, Jeice, and Hallie, along with their new friend Dende.
        Jeice and Hallie were hiding behind a boulder.
        "I can’t believe it!" Hallie whined. "Frieza took out my sister! How could this happen!?"
        "Frieza’s at least three times more powerful than Vegeta," Jeice said. "I told you that earlier. Jenny was only making her death wish."
        "This is not good," Gazelle said to Dende. "Not good at all."
        "If you can keep Frieza busy, I can heal them," Dende said.
        "For real?" Gazelle asked. "That’d be great! That’s the best news I’ve heard all day!"
        "But if Frieza sees me doing this, he’ll kill me for sure," Dende said.
        "Don’t worry; I won’t let Frieza see your work," Gazelle assured him. "You’d better head down to Yamcha and the Cryptkeeper down there. Then I’ll get Frieza’s attention."
        "Got it." Dende flew down to Yamcha and the Cryptkeeper, who were still guarding the Magic family.
        "Hey Frieza!" Gazelle called. "Come and get a nice hoof in the butt from Mighty Gazelle!"
        Frieza chuckled. "Well, it looks like another bucket of bolts is making his death wish. Well, I can make your wish come true."
        He rushed at Gazelle, and they began their midair battle.
        Now that Frieza was distracted, Dende held his hands over the Magic family and released soft yellow energy waves on them.
        "What’re you doing, kid?" the Cryptkeeper asked.
        "I’m healing them," Dende replied.
        "Really? Cool!"
        After a moment, the Magic family came around and sat up.
        "Man.....what’s going on?" Carlos asked.
        "I don’t know," Ruth replied as she caught a glimpse of Dende. "Hey, who are you?"
        "My name is Dende. I healed you with my power."
        "Wow, you’re cute," Robyn said.
        "Really?"
        "So, has Jenny arrived yet?" Ruth asked.
        "Yep, she’s already come and gone," Yamcha said, pointing at Jenny’s unconscious body.
        Ruth gasped. "Oh no......Jenny....."
        "You should’ve seen her; she was really holding on," the Cryptkeeper commented.
        "Hey, there’s no time to talk," Dende said. "I have to heal the others before Frieza beats Gazelle."
        "Well, go on," the Cryptkeeper said. "Who’s stopping you?"
        "I want someone to come with me," Dende said. "Just to make sure that Frieza doesn’t zap me."
        "I’ll go," Ruth said.
        So she and Dende ran over to Arbin, Spinal, and me.
        "Ruth! You’re okay!" Arbin exclaimed.
        "Dende healed us," Ruth said. "He can heal you, too."
        "Please do!" Spinal said.
        Dende began working his magic.
        "This is perfect!" I said. "Did you know that whenever a Saiyan recovers from serious injury, he becomes even stronger?"
        "I did not know that," Spinal replied.
        When the pain was gone, we all stood up. Dende and Ruth went to heal Fulgore.
        Meanwhile, Gazelle decided to lure Frieza away from the group to lessen the chances of spotting Dende. He flew away from Frieza, but then Frieza appeared in front of him.
        "Hey, Gazelle, where are your antlers?" Frieza asked. "Did you want to fight or flee?"
        "He sure likes to appear in front of people so suddenly," Gazelle thought. "It gives me an idea....."
        He turned on his accelerators and flew past Frieza. As predicted, Frieza appeared in front of him again. This time, Gazelle didn’t stop. He merely stuck both feet out, kicking Frieza in the chest. Frieza flew back quite a distance, screaming.
        "Wow, what was great!" Gazelle praised himself. "Nobody gets the drop on Mighty Gazelle! Nobody!"
        Dende went over to heal Pico.
        Frieza flew back in to attack Gazelle.
        "You’re a fast learner, I can tell," he said. "Fortunately, I am, too."
        "Why you!" Gazelle charged at Frieza.
        Dende went over to heal Chiaotzu.
        "Wow, Gazelle’s holding him off pretty good," Jeice observed. "Just a little bit longer, Gazelle! Dende’s almost done healing the others!"
        After Chiaotzu was healed, Dende finally went to heal Jenny. She began to stir. She sat up and looked around.
        "What happened?" she asked.
        "Dende just healed you with his power," Ruth said. "He healed us all. Gazelle is keeping Frieza distracted while he does this."
        "Excuse me; I have a fight to finish." Jenny flew up to look for Frieza.
        "You’re not the only one, girlfriend!" I shouted as he flew after her.
        Now that the little slug boy had us all healed, we had another chance to pull through. We had another chance to be.....
        Naughty......
        All the Spices flew up to take on the evil Frieza. Just in time, too, because Frieza had just landed a hard punch in Gazelle’s chest. Frieza charged to finish him off, but something grabbed his ankle. He spun around to see a certain alien turtle holding him.
        "Son of a bitch!" Pico growled. "You remember me?"
        "Slow down, Pico," Jenny said. "We’ll take him together."
        "Forget it," Frieza said. "None of you are a match for me."
        "You wanna bet?" Jenny asked. "I killed Dark Specter, and I’ll kill you, too. I’ll make mincemeat out of you!"
        "I’d like to see you try."
        "But tell me one thing, Frieza. How did you know who I was?"
        Frieza laughed. "It’s simple really. After you killed Dark Specter, the news was spread. Everyone knows about you now. They all want to dispose of you, to avenge the Grand Monarch. Now the pleasure will be mine."
        "Hold it right there!" I called. "None of you were supposed to butt in the first place. My friend Spinal and I were supposed to fight Frieza ourselves."
        "Are you insane?" Arbin asked. "Are you aware of how badly Frieza took us down?"
        "That was only a temporary setback," I replied. "Spinal, show him your stuff."
        "What!?" Spinal screamed.
        "I asked you to come and help me defeat Frieza, and so far, you haven’t done a thing," I said. "So I think it’s time you went for a little head-to-head battle with Frieza yourself."
        "What!?" Spinal screamed again.
       "Don’t worry, Spinal," I assured him. "We’ll be right here if you need us."
        Frieza grinned. "This should be fun. I almost hate to take down an adorable little thing like you."
        "Strange. You seemed to enjoy taking me down the first time," Spinal said.
        "Come on, small one. Show me what you’ve got," Frieza taunted. "That is, if you’ve got anything."
        "Oh, I have something," Spinal told him shakily. "I have something...."
        *But where do I even start?* he thought frantically. *He’s too fast; he blocks everyone’s moves. Of course, I could do something stupid, like throw a punch to his face.....*
        And he did. Frieza caught Spinal’s fist in his hand and crushed it. Spinal screamed in pain, then thrust his right fist into Frieza’s stomach. As Frieza reeled backwards, Spinal threw another punch to the face, connecting this time. Rather than stop, Spinal continued to punch Frieza fiercely. Then, in a puff of smoke, Spinal morphed into a colorless Frieza and continued his punches. To finish him off, Spinal wrapped his temporary tail around Frieza’s neck and spun him around, just as Frieza had with Jenny, and flung him away. Then Spinal stopped spinning and morphed to normal. He held his head.
        "Ohh.....that made me dizzy......"
        "Spinal!" I exclaimed. "I must admit that you even impressed me!"
        "Really? Thanks!" Spinal said.
        "I agree," Frieza said as he came back in sight. "Really impressive. You could’ve fooled me."
        Jenny was really beginning to lose it. "Frieza!! Why don’t you just die!? You could’ve saved yourself from a lot of pain!!"
        Frieza smiled. "I’ll tell you why I won’t die. It’s because I’m immortal, that’s why."
        "Huh?" the Spices asked in unison.
        Frieza smiled even wider. "That’s right. I found the seven Dragonballs, and I wished for immortality. The Eternal Dragon granted the wish."
        "I can’t believe I’m hearing this!" I cried. "We’ve got to get out of here!"
        "Why should we leave?" Jenny asked. "You’re not afraid of him just because he’s immortal, are you?"
        "Frieza’s power is greater than ever now that he’s immortal," I said. "No matter what you do to him, he’ll survive. It’s pointless to fight him."
        "There’s always a way," Jenny told him. "We just have to keep on going."
        "Really? I hope you can back up your words." Frieza said.
        The Spices screamed in panic.
        "What are we gonna do?" Ruth asked.
        Jenny took a deep breath to contain her rage.
        "All right, everybody out," she said flatly.
        "Huh? What?" the others asked in disbelief.
        "I said out!" Jenny ordered, more harshly this time. "Get back to the ship, and take Dende with you!"
        "What about you?" Spinal asked.
        "I’m going to finish off Frieza once and for all."
        Frieza just laughed. "I commend you for your courage, but it’ll only be your downfall."
        "That’s okay; I have more than enough power to defeat you," Jenny told him.
        "Jenny, are you nuts?" Fulgore asked.
        "Get out, get out, get out!" Jenny shouted. "Everybody get out!"
        "Okay, we’re going!" Yamcha cried. "Keep your shirt on!"
        "Yeah, you wouldn’t want Frieza getting a look at your accessories," the Cryptkeeper added.
        "It was nice knowing you, Jenny!" I called with a grin. "I’ll be sure to send flowers to your funeral."
        The Spices teleported away. Ruth stayed in the battlefield, hovering behind Jenny, as not to be seen.
        "I don’t care what she says," Ruth thought. "I’m not letting her fight Frieza alone."
        Either Frieza didn’t notice Ruth or pretended not to. He kept his eyes on Jenny.
        "Jenny, you puzzle me," he said. "Don’t you think you should save yourself while you still can?"
        "I thought you wanted me dead," Jenny said. "Why are you worried about my survival?"
        "It would ease my conscience knowing that I spared one of my opponents in my lifetime."
        "Oh, you’ll spare me. I know you will."
        "This is horrible," Ruth thought. "Frieza’s killed every single one of his opponents thus far?"
        Frieza chuckled icily. "And now, I give you a well-known gesture of respect."
        He gave Jenny a well-know gesture with his middle finger. However, it was the exact opposite of respect. Jenny and Ruth both gasped.
        "You old, flippant bastard!!" Jenny screamed as she rushed at Frieza with a flurry of attacks.
        Ruth was still frozen in shock. "My God! Poor Jenny; she’s in terrible shape!"
        Frieza giving Jenny that signal was pretty bad. Jenny just wanted to pay him back. It was time to get extremely.....
        Naughty......

***

        "Wow, what is this place?" Dende asked as the Spices led him onto the bridge.
        "This is our spaceship," the Cryptkeeper said. "We call it the Spice Rack."
        "I’m really scared," Dende whined. "Is Jenny really going to die?"
        "You know, it’s a shame that we can’t watch Jenny defeat Frieza," I said. "Win or lose, I would’ve enjoyed seeing that very much."
        "Well, we can watch it," the Cryptkeeper told him.
        He pressed some different buttons, and an image of the great battle appeared on the screen.....

***

        As Jenny battled with Frieza, Ruth finally came out of her shock.
        "Hang on, Jenny!"
        She rushed in and joined Jenny in the attacks. It didn’t seem to make any difference to Frieza. The attacks finally stopped, when Frieza elbowed Ruth in the gut. Jenny pulled away and was surprised to see Ruth.
        "Ruth! I thought I told you to beat it!"
        "No, you just said to get out," Ruth said jokingly.
        "Aaarrrgh!!!" Jenny screamed, her blood boiling with rage. "Just get out of here! Frieza’s all mine!"
        "No way! You can’t take him by yourself!"
        "Don’t tell me who I can’t take! If I say I’m going to beat Frieza, then dammit, I’m going to beat him!"
        "Jenny, listen to yourself!" Ruth protested. "Remember that you’ve been feeling poorly all day! You’re so ill that you can’t even think straight!"
        "You’re distracting me! Go away!" Jenny cried.
        "I’m just trying to help!"
        "I said go!" Jenny demanded, firing a small energy blast in Ruth’s direction. Ruth barely ducked to avoid it.
        "Okay, I’m going!" Ruth teleported away.
        "Man, what has gotten into her?" she thought as she walked into the bridge. The others could tell exactly what she was thinking.
        "Oh, don’t mind her, Ruth," the Cryptkeeper said. "She’s always this cranky when she’s sick."
        "She’s committing suicide!" Ruth said. "There’s no way she can beat Frieza!"
        "Oh Ruth, try to have a little more faith. If she says she’ll beat him, she’ll beat him."

***

        "Hmm......I’m getting tired of this," Jenny told herself. "I’d better hurry this up."
        She threw a fierce punch at Frieza, who zipped behind her and seized her roughly.
        "Last chance to surrender," he taunted. "In fact, you and your mates can join me."
        "Go......to.......hell!" Jenny groaned angrily, breaking his grip. She spun around, throwing a series of punches, all of which were blocked. Then she caught Frieza by adding a thrust kick, striking his stomach. She attempted another punch, but Frieza blocked it, then seized her neck with both hands. He began to squeeze it tightly.
        "And now, I’ll squeeze your neck until your eyes pop out."
        As Jenny fought to breathe, an idea came to her. "My eyes will pop out? We’ll see about that. That little taunt gives me an idea."
        She slowly reached out towards Frieza’s face, putting both palms on either side of his head. Then she slowly dug her thumbs into his eyes. Frieza screamed as the purple blood oozed down his face. He let go of Jenny’s neck and pulled away, covering his face. Now Frieza was permanently blind.
        "What.....what have you done!?"
        "All I did was a little something to make life easier," Jenny told him.
        "I’ll kill you for this!" Frieza charged at Jenny, both fists extended. He crashed into her, both fists thrusting into two specific areas of her chest. Jenny backed up, gasping.
        "You sick little pervert!" she growled, staring down at her chest. "I’ve had enough of this! This is not fun anymore!"
        She pulled out her sword and raised it above her head. She brought it down swiftly, chopping off Frieza’s right arm, then repeated with his left arm. Then, swinging the sword like a baseball bat, she severed off Frieza’s head. Then she swung the blade another time, cutting through his midsection. She watched as all the severed pieces of Frieza dropped to the ground. Jenny lowered herself to the ground and sat down with her back against a boulder.
        "There, that should take care of that," she told herself.
        She closed her eyes as if to go to sleep. Suddenly, she heard a voice calling to her.
        "Jenny......"
        Jenny opened her eyes to see Frieza’s head talking to her. His other pieces were lying about here and there. Jenny began to whine.
        "Frieza.....aren’t you dead yet?"
        "Help.....me....." Frieza pleaded.
        "Oh please. Give me one good reason why I should help you. You took out half of my team. You nearly killed Spinal when he cried out for help."
        "Please....." Frieza gasped. "Forgive me......I’ll.....make it up.....to you......"
        "That’d be a little hard since you’re all torn apart," Jenny said. "Besides, how do I know that you won’t stab us in the back?"
        "I won’t.....I promise......please......"
        Jenny thought for a moment. She smiled as she came to a decision.
        "Actually.....there is a way you could make it up to us......."
        Jenny’s smile was indication that she was about to do something......
        Naughty......

***

        "Well, that did it!" Gazelle exclaimed. "I’m not watching another battle for a long time!"
        Suddenly, Dende heard a voice in his head.
        "Dende....."
        Dende recognized the voice immediately. "Guru?"
        "Yes, my son. We are all safe and sound on Namek," Guru said. "However, I have a little assignment for you."
        "Anything!" Dende said with a happy grin.
        "You shall be our explorer. I’d like you to stay with the Spices and explore the universe with them. There are new worlds to be discovered, Dende."
        Dende turned to the Spices. "What kind of planet is Arturus?"
        "It’s not a planet," Gazelle said. "It’s a space colony."
        "By the way, how did the Spices fair against Frieza?" Guru asked.
        "It went well. Jenny defeated him," Dende replied.
        Although Dende couldn’t see Guru, he could tell that the elderly Namek was smiling. "Excellent. Jenny has always been a proud and confident warrior. Now, I bid you farewell, Dende."
        "Speaking of Jenny, does anyone know if she made it out?" Chiaotzu asked.
        "Yes, Chiaotzu, I made it," Jenny said, standing in the doorway. "I finished off Frieza.....just like I said I would."
        "You go, girl!" the Cryptkeeper cheered. "Now you’re cooking!"
        "Yes, I am," Jenny said. "I’m cooking a special dinner tonight."
        "All right; I’m starving!" Yamcha cried.
        "See you at six." Jenny turned and left the room.

***

        When it was about dinnertime, the Spices gathered at the dining room table.
        "I can’t believe this!" I cried. "Frieza was three times more powerful than I am, and Jenny’s power is nowhere near mine! She didn’t even have any strength, but she still beat Frieza! How was that possible!?"
        "Jenny’s power never depended on brute force or fire," the Cryptkeeper said.
        "Oh no? Then what does it depend on?" I asked.
        The Cryptkeeper was about to admit that he didn’t know, but then found a better response.
        "Why should I tell you? So that you can take over?" he snapped. "To tell the truth, Jenny’s illness really helped."
        "What do you mean?" Yamcha asked.
        "When Jenny gets sick, she gets cranky and irritable, like she did today. Her extra rage delivers the power to defeat Frieza. She gets the extra fighting instinct from her illness."
        "So you’re saying that if Jenny had been healthy, she would’ve lost against Frieza?"
        "You got it."
        "I don’t believe it!" Yamcha cried.
        "See, when Jenny becomes ill, she’s not just a sick chick," the Cryptkeeper went on. "She’s the demonic dame, she’s the mistress of murder, she’s the lady of rage.....you get the idea."
        "Okay, everyone," Jenny called as she came in. "Dinner is served!"
        She placed a casserole on the table. The casserole looked all white, with plenty of cheese.
        "My, that looks great, Jenny," Ruth said.
        "Thanks." Jenny leaned against the doorway as the Spices began to eat. She had a smile glued to her face. She couldn’t stop smiling, even after it hurt her face. After a while, the Spices began to grow suspicious.
        "Is it me, or do I detect a slight shade of purple in this cheese?" Jeice asked.
        Jenny shrugged. "It’s probably just you, Jeice," she lied.
        "So Jenny, what’s the big secret?" Ruth asked.
        "What?"
        "Yeah, how’d you make it?" Carlos asked.
        Soon, all the Spices were clamoring, wondering how Jenny had made the casserole.
        "Okay, I’ll tell you." She took a deep breath. "Remember when I told Frieza that I’d make mincemeat out of him?"
        The Spices froze and looked at her.
        "Well, I made a casserole out of him instead," she concluded.
        The Spices continued to stare, their eyes widened. Without taking his eyes off Jenny, Chiaotzu picked up a napkin and held it in front of Yamcha, who spit his mouthful of casserole out onto it. Then, in unison, all the Spices (except yours truly) grabbed their plates and tossed them back over their heads. Then they quickly got up and left the room. I remained in my seat. I don’t see why everyone else had to run off like that. Their table manners were really......
        Naughty.....
        "See, what’d I tell you?" the Cryptkeeper said to Yamcha. "Mistress of murder!"
        Jenny heard the comment and started to laugh. "Come on! Surely it can’t be THAT bad!"
        She scooped a plate of casserole off the floor and sat across the table from me. She tasted the casserole. I watched her, grinning.
        "Mmm!" Jenny gushed. "I didn’t know that Frieza was Italian."
        "You astound me," I said. "Absolutely astound me."
        "That’s a simple task," Jenny responded. "I don’t know what the others don’t like about this casserole. I like it a lot."
        "Nobody likes your cooking. I know I don’t. I’m just eating it to makes sure Frieza stays out of our hair."
        "Do you know what this means, Vegeta?"
        I smiled even wider. "More food for us! So.....you actually killed him, huh?"
        "Had to," Jenny said. "We all have our dark side. I could go back to Earth and kill all those people who picked on me throughout my childhood. And believe me, that is a lot of people! C.K. was right about me. I can be the mistress of murder at times. And now you know that power doesn’t lie on brute strength or fire. It comes from within."
        "Your point being?" I asked.
        "My point being......Frieza was a wimp," Jenny told me. "I wonder if there is a much stronger opponent?"
        "And where would you find a stronger opponent?"
        "Right inside my body. I gotta go back to bed and fight all those microbes that made me sick!"
        Jenny got up and went back into her bedroom. She collapsed in her bed, covering her face with her covers. She may have killed Frieza, but she may have just killed her own body as well. Since all her energy was drained, she may not have enough to fight off the germs. Her illness would surely last. Yet, in a way, her illness saved her from a brain death. Without the illness, she wouldn’t have felt the necessary rage to fight. Though she was weak, she found the courage needed to defeat a villain who was three times as powerful as I was. Once again, Jenny has proven herself to be an effective universal defender.
        So here you go, my jealous friends. This story came from the heart of my bottom. Some people insist that I’m in love with Jenny. But surely no one would be stupid enough to believe such nonsense. I really had to admire her, though. She was really steamed that day. In order to defeat Frieza, she had to become really.....very......extremely.....
        Naughty......

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