Things Were Wrong

Rust, rust everywhere
Two front license plates
Rear license plate held on by one screw
Scratch on hood - someone keyed my car! Looser!
Cracked front parking lights - both sides
Passenger door is a slightly darker shade of blue
Enya tape is stuck in tape player and sounds funky when played
Driver's window does not roll down right, and occasionally hops off the track
Driver's door freezes open
Driver's door freezes closed
Passenger's door handle sticks open
No cigarette lighter
All four mudflaps are torn or missing
Roof is all scratched up
Leaks fuel from seal around where the gas is put in the car
Left rear marker light out
Rear bumper torn
Burns oil
Leaks oil
Leaks/burns/guzzles coolant. I don't know where it's going.
Right rear corner dented below taillight
Fuel gauge will only read when car is accelerating
Interior light does not come on when driver's door is opened
Engine races when first started
Car will shut off when going around a corner in neutral
Giant rust hole in bottom of car behind rear tires
Rust hole in left front wheel well
Engine tops out at 60mph
Hood is wavy from being a seat at the drive-in movie
Emergency brake will not hold car on a hill
Driver's sunvisor broken
Radio changes volume by itself for no apparent reason
Apparently useless support rusted through and broken
New muffler rattles and bangs around. Ouch.
Oil light comes on and goes off for no apparent reason.
Giant hole under the clutch pedal - you can see the street!
Clutch doesn't seem to disengage when shifting to 3rd gear
Engine shakes, shimmies, and rolls when idling
Heater blower dead. Hence, no defrost.