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Pick up lines	Dutch Signatures

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I married Miss Right, I just didn't know her first name was Always.
It's a little known fact that the Dark Ages were caused by unresolved Y1K issues.
I am going to live forever. It goes well until now!
I've found Jesus! He was behind the sofa the whole time.
What's right isn't always popular, what's popular isn't always right.
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
There are two rules for success in life.
Rule 1: Don't tell people everything you know.
Nothing is more expensive than missed opportunity.
The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Sex is like a bridge game: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
A computer does exactly what it's told. This is not necessarily what you want.
Smith & Wesson - The original point and click interface.
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
UNIX is user friendly.
It's just selective about who its friends are.
Windows 95 at 300 BPM. (Bugs Pro Minute)
No matter how fast your PC, Microsoft will find a way to slow it down.
The truth is out there? Anyone knows the URL?
These people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet.
There are no strangers in life, only friends you've not yet met.
If you don't go to your friends funerals they won't come to yours.
My wife ran away with my best friend. I sure miss him.
A true friend is one who thinks you're a good egg even though you're half-cracked.
Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
I love animals... They're delicious.
If I save time, when do I get it back?
Sometimes I need what only you can provide... Your absence.
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
If trains stop at a trainstation, what happens at a workstation?
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
There cannot be a crisis today; My schedule is already full.
Dain bramaged.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
For people who like peace and quiet: A phoneless cord.
3 kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
To keep milk from turning sour, keep it in the cow.
Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
Enjoy every day like it is going to be your last. One day you will be right.
Due to the outbreak of aids, employees will no longer be permitted to kiss the boss's ass.
Television... a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done.
I know Kung Fu, Karate, and 47 other dangerous words.
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time Windows crashed...
..oh wait, he does.
The best days to drink beer are days that end in the letter, "Y".
Remember, it's the thought that counts. Think money
Microsoft finally invented a machine that doesn't suck! It's a vacuumcleaner.
Eat shit, 5000000000 flys can't be wrong
Computers are like airconditioners, once you open windows its useless
linux is like a wigwam, no windows , no gates, apache inside.
..and on the 7th day God created .. Bill Gates!! aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh :)
Ever had HOTmail?? Only when my computer has a burn out!
The only one who had al his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe
Due to financial difficulties, the light at the end of the tunnel will be shut down, untill further notice.
Marriage is much like communism, it works best in theory.
Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.
Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit the Frog
Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened.
You can tell the quality of a person by how they treat people they don't need.
When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
His wife said, "Be an angel and let me drive." So he did, and now he is.
I'm warning you - if you kill me, they'll just send 008.
Make love, not war - hell, do both, get married!
You can't buy happiness - but at least, if you have money, you can be miserable in comfort.
I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people that annoy me.
Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a gift: that's why we call it the Present.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished...
I am a great believer in luck, the harder I work, the luckier I get.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Catch me running round.
Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.
The road to success is always under construction.
Discoveries are made by not following instructions.
Do witches run spell checkers ?
Vegatarians eat vegatables. I'm a HUMANitarian.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
I hope to die peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming like the passengers in his car.
When men talk sex to women, its sexual harassment but when women talk sex to men it's $3.95 per minute
"In the beginning there was nothing..then even *that* exploded!"
There are no strangers in life, only friends you've not yet met
NO, You cannot dial 911, I'm downloading my mail !!!
The name is Mail .... E Mail
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename !"
Virus checking initiated... completed. All viruses functioning normally.
Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the cat (Y/N)
Windows is *NOT* a virus. Viruses *DO* something
I need a drink... where is the SPACE BAR ?
Computers are like air-conditioners: Both stop working, if you open windows
Practice makes perfect, but if nobody's perfect, why practice?
What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from??
If the only thing to survive a plane crash is the black box,
why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box?
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Why is Greenland icy, and Iceland green?
How does "Do Not Walk On Grass" signs get there?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Is there another word for synonym?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
"The game of catch has never been so fun!" - inventor of the hand grenade.
Forecast for tonight: Dark.
If tomorrow never comes, then, you're dead.
Above all else: Sky.
Spotted on the back of a T-shirt worn by LAPD Bomb Squad: If you see me running, try to keep up.
I'd give a thousand dollars to be one of them there millionaires!
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
A day without sun shine is like, you know, night.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
Statistics are like bikinis. What they conceal is more important than what they reveal.
Doing what's right isn't the problem. It's knowing what's right
He who has great powers should use it lightly - Seneca
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind,...it doesn't matter. - Mark Twain
A real friend is like a diamond, precious and rare. A false friend is like a leave, found everywhere
Trying is the first step towards failure
First, God created man. Then he had a better idea.
I'm not a social person, I've got Internet
If speed kills... Windows users may live forever.
I finally managed to teach my dog to beg. Last night he came home with $15.00
Two people in every one is schizophrenic.
When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown, but only 4 muscles to extend your arm and whack them in the head.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
.... and as a finishing touch, God created the Dutch.
It ain't much, if it ain't Dutch!
An Apple a day, keeps Windows away.
Daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?
E-mail Signatures are usually made to compensate for the boring contents of the letter.
Your mouse has moved. Windows NT must be restarted for the change to take effect. Reboot now? [ OK ]
Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I am schizophrenic, And so am I!
If superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?
What is a 'free' gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding.
My parents used to move a lot but I'd always find them.
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
A real friend is like a diamond, precious and rare A false friend is like a leave, found everywhere.
It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
The box said 'Requires Windows 95, or better'. So I bought a Macintosh.
Ask not what yout country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country!" John F.Kennedy, 1961
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Opportunity.
Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!
We live in a sexless society: "Hotmail" instead of "Hotgirls".
Life is like a piano... What you get out of it depends on how you play it
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Microsoft: How slow do you want to go today?
I've no time left for a hobby. I've got a computer.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
People don't see the world as it is, but as they are.
If you lost your left arm, your right arm would be left.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why give it a chance?
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect it back.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
The cigarette does the smoking, you're just the sucker.
If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
There's no future in time travel.
If money could talk, it would say "goodbye."
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Every morning is the dawn of a new error...
Life is what's happening to you while you are making other plans. (J. Lennon)
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Birthdays are good for you - the more you have the longer you live.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
The trouble with work is... it's so daily.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Who is General Failure and what's he doing on my computer?
A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.
My drinking team has a soccer problem.
Have you crashed your Windows today?
Nobody's perfect. My name is nobody.
Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
Not tonight dear.... I have a modem.
"Reality is for people who can't handle Star Trek."
We may be human, but we're still animals' (Steve Vai)
Elvis is dead, Mozart is dead, Einstein is dead, and I'm not feeling so great myself.
All power corrupts, but we need the electricity.
People who think they're perfect are very annoying to those of us who really are.
You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

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