| There appears to be a "revival of Gothism"
in the past few years. Hmm...seems good on the surface. But
is it? Once we prided ourselves on being different, sometimes for
shock value, sometimes for other morbid reasons.
Now it appears Gothism is "trendy" ~le
sigh~. Perhaps I've been locked in the dark room too long or something,
but Goths used to hang with Punks....hmm...why you ask? Well perhaps
because around 1979, Punk took on a softer edge...yes, you guessed it,
Goth. So basically Goth was (in my humble opinion~winks~) a derivative
of Punk.
Could this explain why I enjoy Sham 69 or Fugazi
or The Atomic Boy? Not that I was old enough to enjoy Goth in 1979...I
didn't "discover" the scene until I was 15, when I was in some romantic
fling of the time with a guy called Garreth Howell. He started me
out gently, Alarm, Cure and such. The music touched my soul....and
he forever changed my life. I was drawn to his darkness...which,
please do not interpret as something evil. On the contrary.
The darkness I refer to is perhaps Scottish at best: Unknown.
Over the years, the Goths that I have associated
with were gentle creatures clinging to the romantic morbid side of life...tragic
romance.
Still with all this, I've always stayed with
the Punks. Until recently. It seems sad that the "New Punks"
of the 1990's and the "New Goths" of the 1990's are enemies. Not
everywhere...some have transcended the labels and joined together, no,
clung together against the "norms" of society.
Now I am 27, and perhaps too old to be Goth
anymore...perhaps I should stop dying my hair funny colors and stop wearing
so much black. But why? Because society dictates it?
Then wouldn't I be selling out to the "norms" something I fought so hard
against all these years...
Perhaps I have mellowed...my closet now contains
color, but then I've also had to get a job, and, as many Punks/Goths/Industrial/Younamethesubculture,
my intelligence level is high and being a loser bum holds nothing for me.
Not that I'm some capitalist pig, but it does take cash to buy all those
highly priced clothing I enjoy....damn but has a velvet dress skyrocketed
in the last 5 years!
And so I leave you with a few words that I
feel describe me...
"Imperious, choleric, irascible, extreme
in everything, with a dissolute imagination the like of which has never
been seen, atheistic to the point of fanaticism, there you have me in a
nutshell, and kill me again or take me as I am, for I shall not change."
From the Marquis de Sade's Last Will and
Testament
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