GayTrinidad --> Understanding Sexual Orientation

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"Causes" - Reasons for Difference in Sexual Orientation

Sexual orientation refers to an individual’s sexual and affectional attraction to members of the other, the same or both sexes. Since Kinsey’s pioneering research 45 years ago, sexual orientation has been understood to exist along a continuum, where some individuals are exclusively attracted to members of the other sex, a similar percentage experience exclusively same sex attraction and the rest of the population is attracted to members of both sexes to a greater or lesser degree (Kinsey, 1948; 1953). However, although a range of sexual orientations exist, our society has historically only recognized and valued heterosexuality. The stigma associated with same sex attraction has led most people to disregard and fear feelings and behaviour that are not exclusively heterosexual. As a result, attraction to members of the same sex continues to be seen by many as abnormal, sick or immoral.

If same sex attraction were recognized, as research indicates, to be "as biologically natural as heterosexuality" (Haldeman, 1994), there would be little reason for concern about its "causes". Information about the reasons for difference in sexual orientation is inconclusive, although it appears to be connected to a complex set of genetic, biological and social factors. Focusing on the causes of same sex attraction perpetuates the belief that it is a problem that can be "fixed".

Sexual orientation is thought to be established early in life (Herdt and Boxer, 1993; Bell, Weinberg and Hammersmith, 1981); awareness of sexual orientation usually emerges in adolescence, although many lesbian, gay and bisexual adults remember "feeling different" in their pre-teen years (Savin-Williams, 1994; Remafedi, 1987). Like all young people, lesbian, gay and bisexual youth must integrate their sexual orientation into their developing sense of self.

Unfortunately, as struggles to combat racial discrimination have illustrated, prejudice of all kinds is frequently rooted in fear of difference and a desire to protect the dominant group from the perceived dangers of that difference. Many of the myths and misconceptions about the "causes" of same sex orientation give rise to public attitudes and policies intended to protect young people, but which instead create significant barriers to the provision of appropriate care and support.

For example, the belief that same sex orientation can be learned or imposed on youth through exposure to lesbian, gay or bisexual adults has led to widespread concern about the sexual orientation of social workers, child and youth workers, teachers, foster parents, adoptive parents and other adults who work with young people (Martin, 1982). In practice, this deprives all young people of positive lesbian and gay role models, and conveys the message to lesbian, gay and bisexual youth that their sexual orientation is wrong. It also excludes the contributions lesbian, gay and bisexual people can make towards the care, nurturing and education of children and youth.

However, neither homosexuality nor heterosexuality is contagious. Studies have shown that the children of lesbian and gay parents do not differ significantly from children raised in heterosexual households in the development of gender identity or sexual orientation (Golumbock, Spencer and Rutler, 1983; and Falk, 1989). In addition, the vast majority of lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals grow up in heterosexual families, where even overt attempts to influence their sexual orientation does not succeed in "converting" them to heterosexuality.

Just as sexual orientation cannot be "caught", it cannot be learned, nor can it be unlearned. Claims that sexual orientation can be changed through psychotherapy have not been substantiated by empirical research, although the damaging effects of these attempts have been well documented (Haldeman, 1994). Some of these conversion therapies are based on the belief that negative family experiences have caused same sex orientation, as determined by parental attitudes or actions. Not only is this view unsupported by research, it perpetuates the feelings of shame and guilt that can interfere with families’ abilities to accept and support their lesbian, gay and bisexual children.

Another area of misinformation that perpetuates a negative view of same sex orientation is the belief that sexual abuse makes people lesbian or gay. Research has indicated that the vast majority of sexual abusers of both boys and girls are men. It is illogical to conclude that the experience of being sexually abused results in men being attracted to other men, while women become afraid of them (Russell, 1986). In addition, studies among adult women show that the incidence of sexual abuse among lesbians is the same as the incidence among the general population of all women. If sexual abuse led to the development of same sex orientation, the incidence among lesbians would be much higher. Conversely, if all girls who were sexually abused developed a same sex orientation, there would be many more lesbians (Bradford, Ryan and Rothblum, 1994; Loulan, 1987; Russell, 1986).

Related to the belief that sexual abuse causes a same sex orientation is the misconception that lesbian, gay and bisexual people are likely to become sexual abusers. In fact, the majority of sexual abuse is perpetrated by heterosexual males (Jenny, Roesler and Poyer, 1994). The sexual abuse of children is an expression of power rather than sexuality; pedophilia is not connected to sexual orientation (Russell, 1986).

Many of the myths and stereotypes that surround same sex orientation, including the association of same sex orientation with sexual abuse, stem from the fears of difference that lead to the oversexualization of lesbian, gay and bisexual identity. Because they focus on sexual activity, these myths and stereotypes not only foster misconceptions, but also increase the invisibility of many aspects of gay and lesbian life.

Society’s Response to Same Sex Orientation

Discrimination against marginalized groups and individuals who are members of these groups occurs on three levels: personal, institutional and societal. Personal attitudes and beliefs make individuals fear, dislike and avoid groups of people because of an unidentified difference and stereotypes about what those people are like. Current anti-racist initiatives show that a combination of accurate information and personal experience with individuals from the feared group can begin to change these beliefs and attitudes. Having accurate information to counteract stereotypes does not mean that people will be forced to alter their personal values, but it means that they may be more able to accept individual differences and provide services without judgement.

Challenging discriminatory beliefs and practices on a personal level is not enough, however. Discrimination also occurs on an institutional level, resulting in unequal access to services. Social service agencies, schools and other organizations have often been structured to meet the needs of the dominant group, with the expectation that the needs of all people are the same. For example, the structure of the traditional family has resulted in responsibility for child care and home maintenance falling primarily on women. When women enter the workforce, they are often in the position of having to carry out two jobs. Since the traditional workplace has been arranged to accommodate men, women have had to fight for their needs for flexible time, maternity leave, child care and other supports to be recognized. They have not had the same choices because society has relied on their availability to provide support.

Women have also experienced institutional bias because of assumptions about their abilities or characteristics that create an image of inferiority. Individuals from different racial, ethnic and cultural backgrounds have identified these same barriers, as have people with disabilities. Assumptions about one aspect of difference that lead to assumptions about general inferiority limit the opportunities that are open to marginalized people. For lesbian, gay and bisexual youth, this institutional bias may take the form of denying their existence, presuming that all clients, students or members of an organization are heterosexual, and designing all services and environments to reflect the exclusive presence of heterosexuals.

A third level of discrimination also takes place: societal organization that excludes members of marginalized groups from equal participation in the benefits and responsibilities open to members of the dominant group. This can be seen in public policies and laws that provide protection and support to some individuals but not others. Societal discrimination both creates and perpetuates inequality because without equal access to the same supports and rights many individuals do not have equal opportunities to develop their potential as individuals. Educational policies that favour privileged groups, for example, tend to create situations where individuals from other groups are deprived of the educational opportunities that would allow them to expand their range of life choices. Laws that support one definition of family ignore the reality of the existence of other kinds of nurturing and supportive family structures, thereby depriving them of financial and legal protection and equal access to supports. Social and health care services that deny or ignore the existence of lesbian, gay and bisexual young people among their client populations fail to provide support for a group that is at high risk and frequently most in need of support.

The cycle of discrimination that keeps some groups and individuals in our society disadvantaged has enormous costs. Discrimination not only contributes to the economic costs of dealing with the consequences of inequality - increased crime, homelessness, drug use and illness. It also deprives society as a whole of the contribution that excluded groups could make to our economic, cultural and intellectual life. Furthermore, it feeds the tension, dissension and fear that interferes with the development of new strategies to work together collaboratively. Discrimination fosters the belief that there is only a limited amount of power and success available, and that some people are more deserving of it than others. Breaking the cycle involves work on all three levels of discrimination: changing personal attitudes, making institutions more accessible, and broadening definitions of who may participate in the benefits and responsibilities of society. An essential place to begin is with the myths and stereotypes that have clouded societal perceptions of individuals who are members of marginalized groups.

Myths and Stereotypes

Myths and stereotypes help us to understand what we do not understand and frequently fear. They focus on areas of difference, and on attributed qualities that are connected to those differences. For lesbian, gay and bisexual people, societal myths and stereotypes focus on assumptions about sexual behaviour, which in turn become valid reasons for discrimination. By fostering the impression that the lives of lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals revolve around sexual activity, these beliefs effectively obscure all other aspects of their lives.

However, sexual behaviour is not considered to be the only significant factor in the lives of heterosexuals. Individuals who are primarily attracted to members of the other sex may be identified by their occupations or interests, but rarely by their sexual orientation, e.g., “Elizabeth, the heterosexual” (Herek, 1990; and Herdt and Boxer, 1993). It is not assumed that because they are heterosexuals, they will sexually abuse children, even though research indicates that both boys and girls are more likely to be abused by heterosexual men than gay men (Jenny, Roesler and Poyer, 1994). No one believes that children in heterosexual families will inevitably be negatively affected by their parents’ sexual activity; in fact, heterosexuality is widely supposed to be a prerequisite for effective parenting. Growing awareness of the extent of sexual abuse within heterosexual families, and of the damage it causes to the children of these families, does not lead to the assumption that heterosexuals are bad risks as parents.

Many qualities contribute to an individual’s ability to parent effectively, as do the amount and nature of the supports available outside the family. Similarly, many qualities contribute to an individual’s personality, temperament and choice of behaviours. While societal beliefs and expectations may help to form each person’s beliefs about the self and limit available choices, they often provide a false picture of individual aptitudes and abilities. Some of the widely held stereotypes of lesbian, gay and bisexual people are examples of such beliefs that ignore the reality of many individual lives.

Gay men are often depicted as overly effeminate, sexually promiscuous and shallow; lesbians are thought to be super-masculine, man-hating toughs. Both are seen as incapable of establishing healthy, committed relationships, or, in fact, of being interested in any relationships that are not exclusively or primarily sexual. Their ability to nurture and support children is questioned because of this conviction: if they are only motivated by sex, then their interest in children must inevitably be sexual.

Coupled with these stereotypes is the belief that one gay “lifestyle” exists, and that a lesbian, gay or bisexual identity necessarily includes assumption of one set of values and behaviours. Often this view is related to the perception that individuals choose to have a same sex orientation, and in making that choice, are choosing a particular lifestyle - hedonistic, irresponsible and self-absorbed.

In addition, the dangerously erroneous belief that HIV is transmitted primarily through gay male sex has led many to conclude that a same sex orientation is an inevitable death sentence from AIDS. The consequences of this misconception are far reaching. Not only has it interfered with AIDS prevention education, obscured the rise of HIV infection among women and injection drug users and further stigmatized lesbian, gay and bisexual people; it has also added to the fears associated with same sex orientation for many young people and their families. The additional pressure to hide or deny same sex orientation because of the stigma associated with HIV/AIDS increases the risk to young people.

Another assumption that contributes to the invisibility of same sex orientation is the belief that it is primarily a white, anglo-saxon phenomenon. Members of other racial, ethnic and cultural groups may respond to the disclosure of a lesbian, gay or bisexual orientation by a family member as evidence of the corrupting influence of white, Western society. For many individuals with a same sex orientation who are members of these groups, the result is rejection, discrimination and exclusion from their families’ communities as well as from the wider community.

Putting stereotypes into perspective

In reality, lesbian, gay and bisexual people are found among all racial, ethnic, religious and cultural groups, at all economic levels of society and in all jobs and professions (Herdt, 1989). Virtually all are children of heterosexual parents. Their interests, abilities, fears and aspirations reflect the diversity that exists throughout our society. There is no one “gay lifestyle” which accurately reflects the daily lives of all lesbian, gay and bisexual people, no one set of values or behaviours to which they all ascribe. Many of them are invisible because they do not conform to society’s stereotypes; many others choose to remain invisible because of the costs associated with membership in a hated and stigmatized group.

Some lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals share religious or cultural values that reject same sex orientation and decide to live outside intimate relationships or attempt to appear heterosexual. Other individuals are able to incorporate personal values and sexual identity into a sense of self that allows them to lead full and positive lives as openly lesbian, gay or bisexual people, while some find that they are most comfortable disclosing their sexual orientation selectively. All lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals are faced with the challenge of developing and maintaining a positive self-identity in the face of prejudice and discrimination related to their sexual orientation. For young people struggling to come to terms with a stigmatized sexual orientation, this task is particularly difficult; the issues they face are described in more detail elsewhere in this document. Family connections and support are important to many people, regardless of their sexual orientation. When disclosure of same sex orientation has lead to family rejection or exclusion from significant family events, many lesbian, gay and bisexual people have created “chosen” families with friends. The fact of their attraction to members of their own sex has not detracted from their ability to care about and nurture each other, to celebrate and grieve together, to share both the special and ordinary events of life.

Same sex orientation does not preclude the ability to maintain long term, committed relationships, in spite of barriers created by societal reluctance to recognize and value those relationships. Studies on lesbian and gay relationships have shown that the difference between same sex and heterosexual couples are not found in their capacity to form relationships, but in the amount of external support they receive from the community (Peplau, 1981). Gay and lesbian relationships exist in an environment that is overwhelmingly hostile to them, without the societal supports that are the assumed right of heterosexual couples: legal recognition, access to spousal benefits, or religious and social ceremonies of commitment. Even simple acts such as displaying a partner’s picture at work or planning to attend a family celebration as a couple can evoke strong negative reactions. In spite of these barriers, many same sex partners are able to create and maintain supportive and empowering relationships.

Similarly, lesbian, gay and bisexual people for whom religious and spiritual beliefs are deeply significant have found ways to practice them, even when they have been excluded from their religious communities. Many have joined lesbian/gay-positive churches, synagogues and temples, religious groups and spiritual communities; others have chosen to pursue personal spiritual growth. Rejection by their religion does not mean that they have rejected religious or spiritual values.

Stereotypes that portray all gay men as overtly effeminate and all lesbians as hyper-masculine are often based on the misconception that same sex orientation is based in gender confusion. “Gender” refers to an individual’s identification as male or female. Contrary to common belief, “gender roles” are not immutable characteristics of men and women, but assigned behaviours which vary across cultures and over time. Individual satisfaction with one’s biological status as male or female is not related to sexual orientation; transgendered individuals may experience attraction to either or both sexes. However, occupational choices, styles of dress and behaviours that challenge societally accepted gender roles are more often the expressions of dissatisfaction with the limitations that those roles impose than indications of a desire to change gender.

For some lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals, the rejection of gender roles represents the acceptance of difference, and the decision to recognize and affirm their sexuality. For others, it may reflect the acceptance of stereotypical beliefs about sexual orientation. Some lesbian, gay and bisexual people reject only the gender role expectation that they will be attracted to members of the other sex. The acceptance or rejection of gender roles may be influenced by many factors; it is not predetermined by an individual’s sexual orientation.

In order to put stereotypes and discriminatory beliefs in perspective, it is essential to recognize the diversity that exists among lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals. It is also important to acknowledge the sense of community and culture that has grown as lesbian, gay and bisexual people affirm aspects of their lives that have been rendered invisible within the broader society. The annual observation of Lesbian and Gay Pride Day exemplifies the possibility of creating inclusive communities, as people of all ages, racial and ethnic backgrounds, economic classes and abilities come together to honour and celebrate their culture. Pride Day is particularly significant for young people, who have not learned as children about the contributions to society of lesbian and gay people. Knowing that they have a history, and can be part of a community they can be proud of, encourages the development of self-esteem and hope for the future.

Problems, prejudices and discrimination exist within lesbian, gay and bisexual communities as they do throughout society. Some of these difficulties reflect the underlying premise of all oppression: power is a limited commodity that must be hoarded by those who have it. Other issues arise from membership in the only cultural minority that “learns to hate ourselves long before we learn that we are a member of that minority” (Hirschberg, 1993). However, it is only through combating inequality and discrimination wherever they exist that we can discover ways to provide all people with the opportunity to participate fully in the life of our society.