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Are you gay? |
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This may be a question that you are asking yourself (if you are unsure of your orientation). Hopefully, the information on this page, although short, may assist you in finding the answer. More information can be found via the links page. This information originates from the Youth Resource Library (see links page). Homosexuality: Common Questions & Statements Addressed (very useful site)For a heavily researched paper on Sexual Orientation, click here. You will probably want to improve on your gay vocabulary. Click here for a gay glossary. How do I know if I'm gay? "I don't remember exactly when I first knew I was gay, but I do remember that the thought of sex with men always excited me"--Alan, age 19. "I never had any real attraction towards women, but I really knew that I was gay when puberty began. I felt an attraction toward the other boys and I was curious to find out what they were like"--James, age 17. "One day I was flipping through a magazine, there was a cute guy, and bam! I knew"--Antonio, age 16. You may not know what to call your sexual feelings. You don't have to rush and decide how to label yourself right now. Our sexual identities develop over time. Most adolescent boys are intensely sexual during the years around puberty (usually between 11 and 15 years old), when their bodies start changing and their hormones are flowing in new ways. Your sexual feelings may be so strong that they are not directed toward particular persons or situations, but seem to emerge without cause. As you get older you will figure out who you are really attracted to. Boys with truly gay feelings find that, over time, their attractions to boys and men get more and more clearly focused. You may find yourself falling in love with your classmates or maybe developing a crush on a particular adult man. You may find these experiences pleasurable, troubling, or a mix of the two. By age 16 or 17 many gay kids start thinking about what to call themselves, while others prefer to wait. If you think you might be gay, ask yourself:
How do I know if I'm a lesbian? "When I was young I always wanted to grow up and live with my best girlfriend, and that feeling never changed as I got older"--Tammy, age 17. "When we're really young, we have crushes on girls, but then we're supposed to grow out of it. We're supposed to read books about how girl meets boy and boy meets girl. Well, I'd never finish those books" -- Terryle, age 16. During adolescence, most young women begin to be aware of sexual feelings and take an interest in dating. Many young women feel physically attracted to men. But many other young women feel physically attracted to other women. You may notice that you feel turned on by other women. You may feel different from your girlfriends, like you don't fit in sometimes. When your girlfriends are checking out boys, you may find yourself checking out girls. Going out with boys may not interest you. You may find yourself wondering, "Why aren't there any men like these terrific women I keep meeting?" You may also feel confused or unsure about whether or not you're a lesbian. Many adults will tell us that we're too young to call ourselves gay, or that we're going through a phase, or that we don't know what we're talking about. That's their way of avoiding the fact that some of us are lesbian youth. You may feel confused because you're attracted to both men and women. That's OK. Some women have relationships with both men and women throughout their lives. Some may later decide to be exclusively lesbian or heterosexual. Our sexuality develops over time. Don't worry if you aren't sure. How do I know if I'm bisexual? "There is a lot of confusion at first. Our society teaches us that we can only be one way or the other. We're also told that bisexuality is a stage or a phase, and one doesn't stay there for very long. But through the confusion you'll know you're bisexual as surely as your pal knows she's straight and your other pal knows he's gay." Eric, Age 24, Colorado "I always knew I was attracted to women, but I felt a pull towards men as well." Suzanna, Age 17, Maryland Determining our sexuality can be very confusing. There is often a lot of pressure on teenagers to choose "one or the other," being heterosexual or being lesbian or gay. You might feel that you do not fit either of these categories. You may notice that you are turned on or have sexual feelings about your own and other genders. These feelings may indicate that you are bisexual. Keep in mind, however, you do not have to "prove" you are bisexual, and there is no "test" of bisexuality. Many bisexuals have sexual relationships with people of only one gender or with no one at all, yet still consider themselves bisexual. Some people have relationships with people of their own and other genders, yet do not identify as bisexual. It all comes down to what you feel most comfortable with, and what you perceive yourself to be. Don't worry about not knowing: our sexuality develops over time, and you should feel no pressure to identify in any particular way. |
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