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Vehicle breakdowns either leave me having a good day or a bad day.

See, there are three people (or groups of people) who are affected when a vehicle breaks down. Obviously, there is the driver. The driver has (hopefully) gotten the vehicle to a safe place, and called in to make us aware of the problem. Now the clock begins ticking, and they start running late while sitting still. This usually causes great consternation on the driver's part, although some drivers are fairly calm about it. The worst part about the situation, to them, is the waiting - and they usually have crabby passengers waiting with them.

The second person that has to deal with a breakdown is the office staff person who deals with the predicament. I hate being that person. You have to contact a maintenance person, arrange for an alternate vehicle (if possible), and do something about the driver's schedule so they aren't running so late. By the time this is all taken care of, it's time for a beer.

The third person does one of two things. If it's a simple problem with the vehicle (such as a locked up starter that's easily fixed), the third person might just run out to do a spot repair to get the vehicle back on the road. More commonly, however, this third person needs to run new bus out to the breakdown and then sit with the one that's broken down. That's what I did today.

I love being that third person. Going out to a breakdown is - 99% of the time - a "Get out of Jail Free" card. You drive a bus out there, and sit with the dead one until a mechanic or a tow truck arrives. That's usually at least an hour out of the office, away from the phones.

Of course, sometimes going to a breakdown is bad news. Sometimes the driver doesn't make it off the road in time, and the bus is blocking traffic. So not only do you have to sweet-talk the police ("There's a mechanic coming out in five minutes, no need to call a tow for me. Really."), you have to run around and baby-sit the triangles.

All the buses have orange, collapsible triangles on board that are set up as hazard warnings for an in-the-road breakdown. You have three triangles, which are set up either behind or in front of the bus, at various distances and locations depending on the situation. These triangles are bright orange and reflective, but people still run them over constantly. So you need to set the triangles back up when they're knocked over, and clean up the plastic when someone crushes one. It's not fun.

Today, though, I had it easy. The driver was doing a drop off at a nursing home. (No triangles involved, since it was in a parking lot.) While she was stowing the lift back up, the bus died and wouldn't restart. Sarah to the rescue!

From the time I got the call to the time I arrived at the nursing home was about twenty minutes. (Hey, we're not exactly EMS here.) I helped the driver get her remaining passenger off the broken down bus into the new one, and then examined the bus.

In my professional opinion, that was one dead bus.

I used the hand crank to try to stow the lift, but the hand crank was also broken. Lovely. I managed to coax enough power out of the battery to stow the lift before giving the poor thing a rest.

Eventually, the mechanic arrived to give me a jump, but until then I was free to do as I wished... So long as I remained with the bus. Mostly, I sat there and sweated. But I wasn't talking on the phone, so I was pretty happy. Even if I was bored.

Speaking of phone calls... I need to stop answering the phone after 5pm, since that's when the weirdos start calling. At about 6:00pm I got a call from a lady.

Is it me...? Or was this a totally useless conversation?

Me: County Paratransit, can I help you?

Lady: Yeah, hi. You're not listed in the phone book, are you?

Me: Excuse me?

Lady: The phone book. The county phone book. You're not listed! I looked everywhere.

Me: (not following this at all) Well, you just called me...

Lady: Yeah, but I had to ask the hospital for your number. I can't believe you're not listed.

Me: (not believing her, getting out my own phone book) Sure we are. We're in the business red pages.

Lady: I looked there.

Me: Ok, so what can I help you with?

Lady: Why aren't you in the phone book?

Me: I can give you our phone number if you don't have it.

Lady: A service like yours should be listed in the phone book. You're not in my copy.

Me: Ok. Was there something I could help you with?

Lady: Yeah. Do you pick up people and drop them off?

Me: Yes. That's what a bus service does. We pick up people. We drive them someplace. We drop them off.

Lady: You know, I looked under the white pages, and the yellow pages, and the pinky-colored pages. You're not listed. How long have you been in business?

Me: Over twenty-five years.

Lady: I can't believe you're not listed. How are people supposed to call you?

Me: Well, you did just call me.

Lady: This is ridiculous. I have the Ameritech 1999-2000 County phone book. You should be in there.

Me: Does it have a picture of a lake on the front cover?

Lady: Yes.

Me: Yep, that's the one I have. We're listed in the business red pages. Under "C" for "County." County Paratransit.

Lady: I'm looking there right now and I don' see it. Which page?

Me: (sighing, wishing I had never answered the phone) Page 30.

Lady: Middle column?

Me: No, left.

Lady: I still don't see it.

Me: We are the very first listing under "C". There are two heavy black lines around our entry. We have listed reservation numbers, a toll-free number, an administrative number, a fax number, and a cancellation number.

Lady: Oh. OH! I see it now.

Me: Good. Now, was there something I could help you with?

Lady: You said you pick up people?

Me: Yes. We pick up people.

Lady: Ok, I'll call you back.

click

Me: I am not answering the phone for the rest of the night.