she's
actual
size

In the midst of my worries and daily problems, I discovered something that really upset me.

I'm turning into a hypochondriac.

At every twinge, for every small pain, I find myself wondering if I'm coming down with something Serious. These aches and worries relocate themselves around my body from time to time, moving from my head to my chest to my abdomen and back, occasionally hitting up my extremities on the way.

The headaches bring on fears of brain tumors and aneurisms. What about a stroke? What do they feel like? Any pain in my teeth sends me to the mirror to look for decay or gum disease. A sore throat might be brought on by post-nasal drip from allergies... Or it could be strep throat, or tonsillitis, or throat cancer.

Coughs and chest pain brings on all sorts of panic attacks. Lung cancer? Emphysema? A heart attack? Sometimes I swear I can feel my arteries clogging up when I eat a steak. That tingle in my right arm... Could it be a sign of an arterial blockage? Or Parkinson's? I suppose it could be carpal tunnel syndrome.

After reading up on my sister's ailment and in the wake of my emergency room visit, I've become paranoid about my reproductive organs. I don't plan on using them for what they were intended, but I've been frightened by the vast number of things that could go wrong. Cervical cancer. Uterine cancer. Endometriosis. Ovarian cancer. Ovarian cysts. Breast cancer. Yeast infections. Trichomonas. Uterine fibroids. Every small pain I feel is suspect.

I can't wait until I'm settled down and insured. I think not having health insurance is a major source of stress for me.