she's
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Last night Dave and I discovered a communication problem that we didn't even know we had.

Way back when, we had a discussion about sex. (Actually, we've had many discussions about sex, but this was the first one that involved us and sex.) Basically, we discussed the when.

Throughout my entire dating life, I had never trusted anyone enough to sleep with them. (And most of the time my feelings were spot-on; these were men I didn't want near me.) But in Dave I found someone I trust completely - and Wow! did that turn me on.

However, we weren't operating on the same timeline. He trusted me, loved me... But wasn't quite ready yet. I totally understood, having previously been the partner to be not ready. I had also been pressured to have sex, pressure that I (thankfully) did not give into. So I promised Dave that I wouldn't push him into sex, that I wouldn't guilt him into it, and that I wouldn't - in any way - make him feel like he had to sleep with me before he was ready.

Skip ahead about six months.

It had been driving me crazy. Insane, in fact. I wanted sex and I wanted it yesterday! This feeling was compounded when I talked to Sammy last weekend. I bemoaned the lack of sex I was getting.

"I can't believe you're engaged to a guy you haven't even had sex with yet," she said.

"Well, it's not like I'm going to have a one-night stand so that I could have someone to compare him to," I replied. I mean, please. I love the guy. There's no way I could possibly go out and take a sample of the lovemaking available, just to see if his is satisfactory.

Still, I was frustrated. So finally, after taking a deep breath, I asked him last night. "Now, I don't want you to feel like I'm pressuring you into anything," I asked. "But when/if are we going to have sex?"

Dave's answer: "You know, to be honest I thought it was going to happen the last time I was down, but I didn't really want to push the matter if you weren't ready."

Apparently, he went and dropped hints all over the place when he came down for Easter. When we went to the drugstore to pick up munchies for the movies, he all but dragged me into the condom aisle - and then stood in front of them talking. (Of course, I thought he was showing me the Easter baskets.) Back at my place, he made subtle gestures and comments along the lines of "Let's get it on, baby." Me? I was being driven mad by lust, but I remembered my promise. After all, if he wanted to have sex he was going to tell me, right?

At one point I was so frustrated, I pushed him away from me just so that I didn't go insane. I wanted him so bad, it hurt. Meanwhile, Dave lay awake most of that night, wondering what he'd done. He decided that I'd gotten cold feet about having sex.

And so at the end of the weekend, he went home.

When we discovered last night what the other person had really been thinking during that weekend, it sort of knocked is for a loop. I mean, if one of us had actually said something, we would have had sex. No question. And I wouldn't be sitting here, still frustrated.

So we agreed - if we want something, we have to actually say so. We're both so dense that we can't pick up on hints; I mean, it took us six months of flirting in chat rooms to admit that we liked each other.

An upswing of this is that I know in about three and a half weeks, I'm going to have sex. I finally get to learn what all the fuss is about, and I'll finally be able to give Dave something that I've never given to anyone else.

Dave is so getting jumped as soon as he walks through my door. I refuse to wait any longer than necessary.

I suspect I'll be chatting about this more in the future, since I feel like a floodgate has been opened. grin Stay tuned.