05 13 00

catching up

Hiya! Yesterday's entry was canceled due to drunkenness, so I have quite a few things to get caught up on today. My neighbor down the way used to work with me at the university, and she had a few people over. Who am I to say "no" to free alcohol? Which brings me to my first, most difficult topic...

She Slips... She Falls!

Beer and... Beer and... Beer and...

Damnit, you can't sit around drinking beer with friends without smoking. I can't, anyway.

sigh

Yes, I smoked last night. I was sitting there with a beer in my hand, and my friend had her smokes out, and I could smell them... And so I asked for one.

I ended up smoking three total. The interesting thing is, I didn't particularly enjoy it. It used to be that I would smoke and enjoy every last puff. I don't know if it was my returning taste buds or what, but the cigarette just didn't taste the same. She smokes the brand I smoked when I quit, so I know from whence I speak. (Err, whatever.)

I decided to just mark this up as a "slip," rather than starting my count over. The software I use to keep track of my Quitness has a spot to mark a slip; I put in that I slipped for one day, for a total of 3 hours. It figures that into my total Quit time and other stats.

Am I being hypocritical? I don't think I am. In my mind, I didn't start smoking again. I didn't run out and buy a pack of smokes. I actually feel no need to smoke now. In fact, those three cigarettes I smoked last night made me feel awful, emotionally and physically. To me, that says I'm through smoking.

Then again, I'm sure some of you are going to have Things to Say about that. Let me have it.

Call Me Crispy

So we went to the Indians game today, my dad and my mom and my uncle and I. We had excellent seats: right along the first base line. In fact, if you'd watched the Indians/Royals game today, you probably saw us on TV.

We would have looked hot. We were sitting in the sun, and I ended up getting burnt. I never get fully, evenly tan. My skin is very pale, and I burn very easily. Plus, I was sitting at an angle to the sun, so the left side of my face is red, while the right side is white. It looks like I got a little loopy while putting on blush. My arms are really burnt, though. I'm expecting them to peel.

My arms are on fire, and my face feels tight and hot. Oh yeah, I'm gonna have fun sleeping tonight.

Snail Mail Fun

So my mother calls me yesterday and says, "Hey, you got a package delivered here today from Cleveland. It feels like a bunch of condoms."

This was unexpected. So I drove over to get the package and opened it while my mother hovered nearby. What's in it? What's in it?

It was not condoms. It was castrating rings.

Along with the rings was a letter which was designed to look like an ad for this product. Protect Yourself From 'the Fellas'! the ad proclaims. Do you have unwanted males wandering your neighborhood looking for "a good time???" Well, the next time that you're confronted with this dilemma, just use our patented CR-4000 and we'll guarantee that they'll move on to "greener pastures." ... So just try our CR-4000, we've included a 100-sample pack to get you started. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns... just give us a call...

The "ad" was obviously printed using an ink-jet printer, and is decorated with clip art. It included a phone number and a fax number in case I "needed help." I was totally baffled when I opened the package as to who would send this to me. After I stopped laughing and wiped my eyes, I considered some suspects.

First and most obviously was a friend from high school who is now a vet. She would have easy access to castrating rings. On the other hand, she's a Very Good Catholic Girl and couldn't even consider doing something like this. Plus, she wouldn't have mailed it from Cleveland. So she was out.

The second suspect was a guy who used to work at the university with me. I know that he lives in Cleveland. Every year he sends me a cleverly-designed Christmas card, and this sort of thing would be right up his alley. Plus, there are certain things in the letter that could be interpreted as "inside jokes" between him and me. I haven't seen or spoken to him in years... I wonder if this is his way of saying, "Hey! Haven't seen you in a while! Wassssssssssssssup???"

But, being the little Web Diva that I am, I looked up the phone number with a reverse index. The phone number on the "ad" isn't registered under the guy who I think send it. In fact, I don't recognize this name at all.

So, there are two possibilities here. One: This friend of mine sent it, and the phone number is listed under his roommate. Two: Someone who I don't know sent me castration rings.

I hope it's number one.

Of course, the brave thing to do would be to call this phone number and see what the heck is up. But I never said I was brave.

Besides, it's long distance.

Quit-o-meter

______ of the Day