05 11 00

feeling helpless

We've had rain for the last two days, and it finally happened - the trees leafed out overnight.

It's always like this. One day the trees just have their tiny buds, and the next day they're fully green. It makes you open your eyes and notice your surroundings a lot more, since it's always a bit surprising.

It has been a rough couple of days at work. Everyone has been tense and nasty, and I don't understand why. The weather is warm, although a bit rainy. The whole summer is unfolding before us. In a word, it's been beautiful. Why is everyone so nasty?

Monday it was the Assistant Operations Manager. She's found herself another beau, and he's an asshole. She even calls him "The Asshole."

"Why are you seeing him?" I asked.

"Because I can't find anyone else," she said.

"Yes, you can," I insisted. "You're just settling for him because it's easy."

She sighed. "Maybe..."

Anyway, on Monday she was really depressed about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she mumbled something about money and let the topic slip.

I want to take her by the shoulders and give her a big shake. "Listen!" I want to tell her. "If you let people get you down, they're going to keep doing it. You have to stand up for yourself. You have to realize that no one else is going to do it for you! No one else can!"

I don't know what to do. I want to help her somehow, but she can't (or won't) look out of her own narrow view of the world. She sees only the things that are wrong with her life, and none of the good.

Yes, yes, I admit that she's had a lot of problems. But everyone has problems. She's working three jobs, so I can't just drop by her apartment any night. She needs help and I don't know how to give it to her.

Hang in there. I don't know how, but I'll find a way to help you. Just hang in there.

Quit-o-meter

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