04 09 00

high maintenance

Gee whiz, I was so confused yesterday. I thought I was losing it.

Yesterday I woke up and went downstairs to turn on the TV for my 'toons. It was about 9:30am or so, and Digimon is usually on about that time. But instead, Pokemon was on. Weird. And then, Batman Beyond was on. And then, Detention (gag) was on. Really weird. All of those are Sunday shows.

So today I get up, amd Monster Rancher, Digimon, Godzilla and Beast Machines were on. All Saturday shows.

Finally, the brain kicked on and I realized they had switched the days around. And here I was thinking I'd totally gone off the deep end.

I Need My Oil Changed!

I've given Dave adequate warning, I think, that I am a high-maintenance girlfriend.

Some women do fine on their own.. They don't need much attention at all. Others, like me, need lots of attention. I think it's a product of my low self-esteem. If I'm not reminded that I'm loved, I start to get all angsty. (Doesn't that sound just pathetic?)

Of course, I can't say that I need more attention, because that would defeat the purpose of getting the attention. "He's only giving me attention because I asked him to." Yeah, I know. That's really awful. It's like that "rule": Yes, I'm mad at you, but I won't tell you why... And you'd better fix it right away! grin

Fortunately, I think I'm getting over that childish sentiment. If something's wrong, I try to tell Dave. On the other hand, I also think things are a lot different in a long distance relationship.

Just for an example... Let's say that we are married and living together. I'm feeling down, and I look forward to seeing Dave at the end of the day. He comes home, gives me a hug, and without him even knowing there was anything wrong... I feel better.

And vice versa for the status quo... I'm feeling down, and I'm looking forward to talking to Dave. Maybe he'll... I don't know, figure out how to send a hug via email. Of course, no hug comes, and I still feel down.

Ain't I just a psychopath, though? grin

Now, I'm not one of those total weirdos who needs flowers every day or jewelry once a week. Hugs are fine. Kind words are enough. And when we're actually together finally, I can seek him out when I want to talk to him. Right now, I have to wait for him to be online while I'm online. It doesn't always work out right.

That Not Smoking Thing

I'm doing ok. I don't know how I'll be once I'm around other smokers, though. I'll just have to keep telling myself, "I quit, I quit, I quit."

I've been a bit of a hermit this weekend, just staying away from everything. The hardest time for me has been while I'm sitting at my computer, but I was expecting that. I had envisioned getting all sorts of housework done while I stayed in. Of course none of that happened.

Oh well. Still hanging in there, anyway. grin

Quit-o-meter

______ of the Day

I See You!