03 28 00

grocery judgements

I'm such a snoop. I don't go peeking in people's medicine cabinets or anything (I might find something that creeps me out) but if someone has something in plain view I feel no compunction about glancing at it. Yes, I'm evil. I know.

Anyway, one of the best places to snoop and make snap judgements about people is at the grocery store. Just glancing at what people have in their carts can be very educational.

For instance, take the guy I saw today. He was pushing a cart which contained the following: six jugs of Sunny Delight, a huge stack of microwaveable pizzas, two steaks, and some cheap cologne. The guy looked to be college-age, and he was looking at cereal. His eyes kept darting between Count Chocula and Boo Berry. He ended up getting both.

My snap judgement about him:

• A college student
  
• Not health concious
  
• Has a sweet tooth
  
• Either just got a girlfriend or is looking for one

See? It's easy and fun. They don't need to know what I assume about them, so no one gets hurt. Sometimes I'll even make up long stories in my head about the person (but only if I'm really bored). Here's another.

A young woman in a business suit walked by me carrying a basket. The basket contained: three light yogurts, a bag of ready-made salad, a pint of skim milk, and a thing of bottled water.

Judgement:

• Not married, no kids
  
• Takes her career seriously
  
• Health-concious
  
• Exercises regularly

A greasy-looking guy with a major beer belly was also carrying a basket. He had picked up: A case of Miller Light, a package of bacon, a gallon of milk, a roll of paper towels, and a carton of Winstons.

Judgement:

• Not married
  
• Blue collar worker
  
• Thinks the word "anti-oxidant" is a new type of lubricant
• Likes football

Then there was the poor guy in front of me at the checkout. He had five packages of ramen noodles and one lone roll of toilet paper. He paid in cash.

Judgement:

• College student
  
• Student loan refund hasn't come through yet
  
• Credit card is maxed out
  
• Decided on the essentials before he walked in the store

And then there was me. I bought a package of American cheese, a pint of chocolate milk, a package of tampons, a pack of Marlboros, a case of Diet Coke, and an air freshener. grin I wonder what people thought about me when they saw what I got.

______ of the Day