03 11 00

mail call

I'm a winner!

Yup yup yup. Check it out - Publisher's Clearinghouse sent me a check! Wow! I won $1.00! I... I can almost buy a bottle of pop with that.

I get lots of interesting things in the mail. Well, there's bills and stuff. That's not very interesting. In fact, it can be downright depressing. Every month I get:

• A phone bill. Usually this is pretty reasonable. Unfortunately they've started saving up the long distance charges and slamming me with them every three months. So four times a year I open my phone bill and faint.
  
• An invoice for my auto insurance. That reminds me, I should call them and reduce my deductible. I have a $100 deductible now. I can't afford that!
  
• An electric bill. Evil during the winter, tame during the summer.
  
• A rent invoice. Each month it's a little game. I hold the envelope in my hands and think, "Is there a late charge this month? When did I get my rent in last month?" Then I open it and see. Fun!
  
• A credit card bill. Ick. No comment.
  
• A bill for the small college loan. (The loan is small, not the college.) The large college loan doesn't send my anything. I just have a payment book for them. It's up to me to remember to pay them.
  

There's always something in my mailbox when the mailman comes. I get a lot of flyers for the grocery stores around here. If they didn't send out a flyer everyday I'll bet that their prices would be much lower. My wastebasket is filled with grocery story ads. What a waste. Hah!

Somehow I managed to get on some funky mailing lists. I get lots of cool catalogues. The knife and sword catalogue is really neat. They've got all sorts of katanas and broadswords and fantasy knives. I wish I had some money so I could get some swords!

Another catalogue is the one I call "Paranoid Militant Freaks R Us." This catalogue is filled with phone tap detectors, night vision goggles, Kevlar jackets, camouflage, listening devices, lock picks, etc etc. "If you're convinced the government has put a monitoring device in your brain, we can help!"

I only got one catalogue of "Museum Replicas," but I wish they'd send me more. They have all sorts of renaissance and medieval clothes, weapons and accessories. There's absolutely nothing in there that I need, but it's a lot of fun to look through while going to the bathroom. (And you thought only guys did that.)

I also get a lot of other catalogues, like stained glass materials, books, videos, software and CDs, but there's one more that stands out. It's called "Dancing Dragon," and it's filled with dragon stuff. I've bought all sorts of things from them, such as a print, some t-shirts, jewelry and Christmas cards. Dave and I have been thinking about buying these really neat cobalt goblets and a dragon cake topper they sell. For the wedding, of course. grin

I finally, finally rid myself of the BMG chains of servitude. I joined their club over 4 years ago, and about six months ago I figured how to get out. For years I was just sending the reply card back. Month after month, I used a precious stamp to send them back a card that said, "Not buying anything this month." Apparently they only had six CDs I wanted, and I got those when I first joined. After that, all I saw the crap in their catalogue. But now I'm out! I'm out, I'm out, I'm OUT! Yay!

But now I'm in a different club, the Writer's Digest Book Club. They aren't quite as evil as BMG, though, because they actually have things I like. I bought enough books to get a free one, and now I think I'll just let my membership expire. That's right, BMG - the membership will expire if I don't buy anything. Take a hint! Buy a clue!

Sometimes cool things show up in my mailbox, like a card or a wedding invitation from someone I haven't talked to in years. Postcards are always nice. Big thick letters are better, though. As much as I like email, there's nothing like being surprised by a nice long handwritten letter in the mail.

One thing that I haven't gotten a lot of lately is rejection letters. Of course, I have to submit something in order to get a rejection letter. Hopefully I'll have a story to submit someplace soon, and I'll get another fine rejection letter to hang on my wall.

Whenever I order something, I usually forget that I've ordered it. So when it shows up on my doorstep, I'm pleasantly surprised. grin I've sworn off eBay for a while, though, because I was spending large sums of money buying stuffed animals. They're cute stuffed animals, and it was fun seeing a big box on my patio, but I can't afford it now.

I'm confident that one of these days, I'll look in my mailbox and find a letter from a magazine. "We are pleased to inform you that we've decided to purchase your story..." One of these days. Soon. Hopefully.

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