03 03 00

fuck

This entry contains gratuitous use of the word fuck. If this offends you, please go away and find something more constructive to do with your time.

Fuck.

Fuck banks. Fuck their bounced check fees. Fuck their stupid maintenance fees. Fuck their stupid computers that deducted $3 from the $2.71 that I had in my account. Fuck the little negative sign that I saw on my account balance today. Fuck balancing my checkbook if they're just going to fuck it all up anyway.

Fuck immigration. Fuck those forms. Fuck those fees. Fuck never knowing what they're going to ask for. Fuck never knowing how long it's going to take to get approved. Fuck trying to plan a wedding around moving to another fucking country. Fuck the legalese speak on the immigration web site. Fuck all the "what-ifs" and "who knows."

Fuck marriage. Fuck dresses. Fuck material for dresses. Fuck choosing a color. Fuck choosing flowers. Fuck choosing a reception hall, a DJ, a caterer, a baker, a church, a location, a date. Fuck having to choose between my sister and my best friend for Maid of Honor. Fuck deciding what to do with my last name. Fuck writing vows. Fuck guest lists, bridesmaids' dresses, invitations, cake toppers. Oh, and fuck shoes, too. How am I supposed to make all those fucking decisions when I don't have a fucking clue?

Fuck my car. Fuck the little squeaking noises it's making. Fuck gasoline prices. Fuck the weird smell my car gets when it's been sitting in the sun. Fuck scraping ice off its windows. Fuck getting the oil changed. Fuck tires, brakes, shocks, batteries. Fuck fuzzy dice.

Fuck my cat. Fuck hairballs. Fuck her coughing up a hairball and eating it. That's just fucking nasty. Fuck wet food, dry food, semi-moist food. Fuck treats. Fuck catnip. Fuck scratching posts, furry mice, jingly balls, laser pointers. Fuck cat butt on my face at 3am. Fuck ankle hockey.

Fuck work. Fuck bosses. Fuck getting treated like a child. Fuck getting sent off to make 500 copies of a flyer. Fuck getting stuck putting delicate stickers in every single bus. Fuck fucking up the stickers. Fuck data entry. Fuck tech support. Fuck temperamental staff. Fuck miniscule paychecks. Fuck twenty-minute lunch breaks. Fuck this part time crap. Fuck being bored at work.

Fuck renting. Fuck cold air. Fuck writing. Fuck bird feeders. Fuck squirrels. Fuck skunks while you're at it. Fuck fold out beds. Fuck bad hair days. Fuck zits. Fuck power outages. Fuck water outages. Fuck clogged toilets. Fuck menstruation. Fuck cramps. Fuck back pain. Fuck Christmas lights that are still up in March. Fuck HTML. Fuck coupons. Fuck mold. Fuck telemarketers. Fuck having no beer and no smokes.

Fuck you. Fuck me! Fuck off.

Aww... Fuck all those fucking fuckers.

Fuck this shit.