02 11 00

stuck

We had a bit of a warm-up yesterday, and all the snow started melting. But whenever that happens in February, everyone around here moans. We know that as soon as the sun sets, the temperature will plummet again, and all that nice slush and liquid will turn into sheets of solid ice.

I skidded my way to work today and was told that I needed to drive a route. I was actually pretty happy about that, since it got me out of the office and away from the phone.

I had a bunch of pick-ups at the MR/DD workshop and got everyone home without incident. The next bunch I had was for the adult daycare. I love picking these people up - most of them, anyway. They're generally amicable and happy. Among my passengers were Mrs. S and Mrs. B.

Mrs. B is in a wheelchair, and is quite old. She can't talk, except for murmurs now and then. She loves attention, but the wheelchair securements are in the back of the bus, far away from me. So she'll wave her arms and moan, trying to get my attention. Whenever I would go back there to see what she needed, she just grabbed my hand and smiled at me. Sweet lady. grin

Mrs. S has a vague sort of dementia. She lives by herself, but gets very lonely during the day. So she goes to the daycare. She's wild and talkative and rude... We have the same sense of humor. Sometimes she really gets on my nerves, but most of the time I can deal with it.

Late in the afternoon I had dropped off everyone except for Mrs. S and Mrs. B, and I was on the say to Mrs. B's house. She lives in a housing allotment with private roads. The residents are supposed to maintain the roads, but they are all full of huge potholes and ruts. Our drivers all have horror stories about Mrs. B's road, but I'd never been back there.

There are two ways into the allotment, and I chose the closest one to me. I turned onto Mrs. B's road and Mrs. S started shaking her head.

"No, no, honey, you've got the wrong place. Get out of here!"

I was inclined to agree. The road was very hilly and rutty and basically Terrible. I put the bus into reverse and backed out onto the road and went down another road.

The road twisted and turned, and my sense of direction started to go awry. Looking at the map, I thought I could just follow the road around the lake and end up at Mrs. B's house.

One thing I should have remembered from geology field camp: Never trust the map.

After one more blind turn in the road, I found myself at a house. The road dead-ended at someone's garage. I had not been following a road; rather, I was on a driveway. The roads back there aren't even marked, so I couldn't tell what was a driveway and what was a road.

No one was home, thankfully. I backed into a turnaround and started to go pull forward through the turn, down a little hill. I felt the tires slip, and suddenly the bus was going sideways down the hill. I tried all the tricks I knew, but we kept sliding slowly towards a tree.

We stopped about a foot from the tree.

I threw the bus into reverse, but the tires just spun and spun on the ice. I got out of the bus, and almost fell on my ass. The driveway was covered in a thick sheet of very hard ice.

Swearing quietly under my breath, I grabbed the snowbrush from inside the bus and hacked at the ice under the rear dual tires a bit, trying to rough it up enough to give me some traction. No luck. Every time I tried to back up out of the tree's branches, I slipped farther forward.

Mrs. S was giving me "helpful" tips: "Cut the wheel! Gun it! Brake! Try backing up again!" Mrs. B was waving her arms in the air a moaning. I looked back at her and she held up two fingers.

I called base and told them I was stuck. Of course, since I was all turned around in my head I wasn't sure where I was. I gave them a list of the turns I had taken, and they said they'd send out a tow truck.

The Maintenance Manager told me to try putting some wheelchair tie-downs under the tires for traction. Note to self: Never use tie-downs as traction. I was able to back up for about three inches. When the tires landed on ice again, they spun and sent the tie-downs flying. They thunked loudly on the bottom of the bus.

"What was that?" asked Mrs. S. "Is the ice breaking?"

Mrs. B held up a fist and moaned.

I stood outside the bus and smoked a cigarette. The sun was setting, and I was desperately hoping the house's owner didn't return to find a County Paratransit bus stuck in their driveway. I got back in the bus.

"I could get out and push," offered Mrs. S.

"No, no... The bus weighs around three tons. I don't think you're that strong," I said.

"I'm a scrappy little thing!" Mrs. S said.

Mrs. B made "milking a cow" motions and moaned.

Base called me and said the tow truck driver couldn't find me. I walked a ways up the driveway until I saw him, and waved him in.

The truck came slowly down the driveway, slipping and skidding. The driver pulled up about twenty feet from my bus and put the parking brake on. As he was getting out of the truck, it started sliding back down the driveway. His eyes got big, and he jumped back into the truck.

Great, I thought. We'll need a tow truck for the tow truck.

He got the truck settled and still on a level bit, and slipped his way up to my bus. He made a hmm sound.

"All I need is some traction," I said. He examined the ruts I had made in the ice by spinning the tires.

It was a fairly simple process. He used oil dry powder for traction, and I was able to back up enough to make the turn to go down the hill.

Mrs. S. said, "I have to pee."

Mrs. B stuck her finger in her nose and moaned.

I'd been stuck for the better part of an hour. Everyone got home, and I finally made it back to the garage.

Did I say I was happy to get out of the office away from the phones? What am I, insane?

On Procrastination

______ of the Day

Snow Sculpture