02 09 00

will-call chaos

Aah yes. Trials and tribulations.

A long while ago I gave a brief description of my job. Let me divulge an incident that happened today that helps explain the chaos in which I live everyday.

Most of our trips are prescheduled. People call in to book a ride somewhere, and most of the time they book a trip home. But if you've ever gone to a doctor's office, you know how it is: you never know exactly when you're going to get out of there. So for doctors' appointments we allow something called a "will-call." Basically, when someone's done with their appointment they call us, and we'll find a route that has time to run and pick them up.

It can get a little nightmarish, especially between 3-4pm. Everyone and their mother is calling in with will-calls. The phone rings off the hook, we're all scrambling for the radio hunting for drivers who happen to be in the area, and the drivers are silently pleading "don'tcallmedon'tcallmedon'tcallme..."

Ok, that's not exactly fair. Most of the drivers are fine with doing will-calls. But 3-4pm is a very busy time for the drivers, since they're picking up the MR/DD workshops and adult daycare clients, as well as taking some people to work. They're already running wild, and when we add another person to their route it just makes them late.

Anyway, today I got a call from a doctor's office at 3:30pm. "Mr. G is ready to be picked up," the nurse said.

I put her on hold for a minute to find a driver. One of our drivers is very gung-ho, and he happened to be in the area. I gave him the information and he said he'd be there in 5-10 minutes.

Picking up the phone, I discovered the nurse had hung up. This happens a lot. They apparently think we have drivers just hanging around waiting for something to do. When they get put on hold for a few minutes while we're hunting around for someone, they get pissed and hang up.

A few minutes later the phone rings again. It's the nurse. "I was waiting forever!" she whined.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but it took me a few minutes to locate a driver. I did find one, and he'll be there to pick up Mr. G in five to ten minutes."

"Thank you." click

About ten minutes later, the fiasco began. And now for your pleasure:

Transcript of an Everyday Fiasco

Driver: I'm here to pick up Mr. G but I can't find him.

Me: They just called. Did you go in to ask about him?

Driver: Yeah, and they said he left.

Me: Hold on, I'll call the office.

ring ring

Receptionist: Annoying Doctor's Office, how may I direct your call?

Me: This is Sarah from County Paratransit. I got a call a few minutes ago that Mr. G was ready for his pick up, and his driver is there waiting for him.

Receptionist: All right, we'll send him right out.

Me: on radio: They're sending him out.

Driver: Copy.

ring ring

Me: County Paratransit, how may I help you?

Nurse: Hi, this is Shirley from Annoying Doctor's Office again. I wanted to schedule a trip for Mr. G to go to the surgery center next week...

Me: Is he still there? His driver is outside waiting for him.

Nurse: Oh! I didn't know. We'll send him right out. I'll call you back. click

Me: (muttering) Whatever.

Driver: I've been here for seven minutes and I still haven't seen Mr. G. Aren't they sending him out? I have to get Betty to work in fifteen minutes.

Me: Augh!

ring ring

Receptionist: Annoying Doctor's Office, how may I direct your call?

Me: Hi, this is Sarah from County Paratransit again. The driver waiting for Mr. G has other pickups he needs to do. Is Mr. G on his way out yet?

Receptionist: I thought he left already.

Me: Well, the driver is still outside the front door waiting for him.

Maintenance Manager: Maybe they gave him an invisibility potion.

Receptionist: Really? Oh, there he is. calling to someone: Mr. G, your bus is waiting! click

Me: (muttering) Idiots.

ring ring

Me: County Paratransit, how may I help you?

Nurse: This is Shirley from Annoying Doctor's Office again...

Driver: I can't wait for Mr. G much longer.

Me: Could you send Mr. G out?

Nurse: He left already!

Assistant Operations Manager: Do they have monkeys working at that doctor's office or something? How can you miss a blind, 300-pound man in a wheelchair?

Me: The driver is parked directly outside the office door and hasn't seen Mr. G come out.

Nurse: I'll call you back. click

Me: Don't make me talk to her again.

Maintenance Manager: Hey, you're the Fone Fairy today.

ring ring

Me: County Paratransit, how may I help you?

Receptionist: This is Candy from Annoying Doctor's office. Mr. G said he went outside and didn't see the driver.

Me: Please hold. places Candy on hold... Of course he didn't see the driver. He's blind! on radio: The office said Mr. G went outside and couldn't see you. Are you sure you're at the right place?

Driver: I'm at 123 Main Street, parked directly in front of the Annoying Doctor's office's front door.

Me: on phone: The driver has not seen Mr. G come outside.

Receptionist: Oh, well, he didn't actually go outside. I've been watching for the driver for him.

Me: trying not to cry: The driver is there. Waiting.

Receptionist: Oh... Is he that guy in the blue jacket in the large white vehicle with "County Paratransit" written on the side?

Me: Yes. That is our driver. That is the driver waiting for Mr. G.

Receptionist: Oh, he came inside a few minutes ago. I'll send Mr. G right out. click

Me: on radio: If Mr. G isn't outside in one minute, leave.

Driver: Here he comes. Thanks for your help.

Me: I need a smoke.

ring ring

Me: County Paratransit, how may I help you?

Lady: Hi, this is Lulu from Irritating Doctor's office. Mrs. F is ready to be picked up.

Me: Please hold.

Repeat ad nasuem.

Irony, Anyone?

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