02 07 00

pants

Have you ever heard of something happening to someone that was just too funny, but you try not to laugh because if it was you it wouldn't be funny at all?

This poor guy... A driver at work always has the weirdest things happen to him. He called in today on the radio - on an open channel - asking for a little help from base.

We have two channels on our radios: open and private. When you're speaking on an open channel everyone can hear you. On a private channel, only base can hear your transmission. We use private channels for accidents, passenger problems, and anything else that we don't want broadcasted to everyone on our buses.

Anyway, this driver calls into today with a problem. He really speaks up on the radio, so everything he says is loud. I answered his call. "Go ahead."

"Yeah, I'm gonna have to go home and get some new pants. I busted out a seam in these and I'm hanging out."

I looked over at the Assistant Operations Manager, who looked like she was trying to decide whether to laugh or cry. "Please tell me that was on private," she said.

Then I looked down at the radio display. It was on an open channel. I looked back up at her and shook my head.

"Oh no..." she said, grabbing the radio from me. She keyed up the mike and said, "Could you call us back on private, please?"

A moment later the driver came back on private. "Uh, sorry. I thought it was private."

Anyway, I went out and drove a part of his route while he went to find some new pants. Somehow he'd managed to rip the crotch seam of his pants, so he'd slid his pants down as far as he could and pulled his work shirt down to cover up his butt crack. You know, so his underwear wouldn't hang out the bottom.

giggle

It's not funny. But it is. Call me immature if you wish.

When other drivers started to come back tonight, they were all asking about the pants. "I can't believe he called that out on an open channel," they said. "It did give all the passengers a smile, though."

Mr. Pants was supposed to turn in a report this morning, and later this afternoon the Operations Manager realized he hadn't turned it in. She called him on the radio and asked if he had it.

"Yeah, it's in the back pocket of my pants."

She couldn't resist. "The pair you're wearing now or the other pair?"

A brief pause. Then: "This pair." You know he was checking.

We're all going to hell.

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