01 10 00

creeps and giggles

I woke to the ringing phone next to my bed. I listened to it ring three times, then stop. The answering machine had gotten it. I hate answering the phone while I'm half-asleep, since I know I sound incoherent. When I finally crawled downstairs I listened to the message.

Folks love my answering machine's outgoing message.

The power went out on New Year's Day (nothing Y2K related, just a transformer blew) and the outgoing message was erased. I lived for a few days without an outgoing message, since I didn't feel like doing one. When I did record it, I was still sick and depressed and missing Dave, so the message says: "Leave message."

That's it. And they love it.

When answering machines were new, people always made clever outgoing messages or songs or rhymes. I did, too. But unless they just arrived here from the 1800s, everyone now knows about answering machines. Why bother doing the whole "We're not here, please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you" dance when everyone already knows the routine?

"Leave message" is concise and to the point.

I went into work and complained that I was "a big walking snotball." My nose has started running again, and I'm always looking for a tissue. My head feels like it's full of snot, and more is on the way.

We had a thunderstorm. (in January! Weird.) Lots of wind, too. I was telling my coworkers about how the thunder had sounded strange this morning. Normally, thunder BOOMS and then rumbles off into an echo. But this morning, it sounded more like someone dragging a chair across a wooden floor. No echo. In fact, I thought my neighbor was moving furniture until I got up and saw that it was hailing.

Well, while I was explaining this, the Maintenance Manager starting moaning.

"Uuuuuuuuuhhhh..."

The Asst. Ops Manager and I looked at each other, then back at the MM.

He looked back at us and did it again. "Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh!"

Not sure if he was having a seizure or something, I asked, "What was that?"

"It's AC/DC," he said.

"Huh?" was the only reply I could come up with.

"Thunderstruck," he added.

Ah. He had been "singing" the opening to "Thunderstruck." But it sure sounded like moaning to us. We kept giggling about it all afternoon. grin

Then, when I came home and checked my email, I found some ranting, drooling fanboy messages in my inbox.

I wrote a racy story a few years ago, and have it posted to my furry webpage. It was mostly an experiment to see if I could write an erotic story. Since I haven't had any such experiences, I'd wondered if I could fake it enough to make it convincing.

Apparently I can. I've received more email about that one story than all my other stories combined. The ending of the story was sort of a question mark, and I'd meant to leave it at that. But the main character's predicament drew me, and after I got lots of email asking "What's next?" I decided to finish her story.

It's turning into a long story arc. It's five stories long so far, and I think it'll end up with a total of seven or eight stories. It's fun, even if the main character has started to get on my nerves. I've been doing a story every six months or so.

But I keep getting ranting fanboy mail. I mean, really creepy stuff. An excerpt from the latest:

i NEED to know what happens wow i dont belive this I am 18 year old male hooked on the series he he he any way i just wanted to say thank you for writing theses stories i just love them sorry im really just want to hear from you oh yea please
...
not to sound pervy or any thing but the love parts in the series ARE really great so detailed keep up the awsome work i think ill make an award for your excelence of writing ok talk to you later bye

Now, I like fans as much as the next person. In fact, at the last convention I went to I was asked for my autograph! (Which was kind of creepy, actually.) But these people don't even read my other stuff. The non-erotic stories get practically no mention.

Just for comparison, I have one erotic story (the one I mentioned) on my page, and ten non-erotic ones. sigh Some people just need something to wank off to.

I've removed the erotic story from my webpage twice now, and have always put it back. (Why? Dunno.) After I'm done here, I'm going to remove it again but make it available through email. Actually, it's listed on an index archive elsewhere, so I won't totally remove it - I'm just going to remove the link on my webpage to it, and then provide them the URL through email if they want.

Hmm.

Why bother?

I'm not sure. I'm proud of the story, in that I was able to piece together a good story from what I had heard about sex. I'd like it to remain available. But I hate the reaction I get concerning it. It creeps me out, knowing that someone is probably jacking off to something I wrote.

I do get articulate, thoughtful email, too. But that sort is far outnumbered by the drooling fanboy sort.

Uch. I've blabbered enough about this. Off to remove that link.

Looking Up

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