12 30 99

i resolve

Tomorrow morning, bright and early, I'm leaving to see Dave. But seeing how it'll be the New Year when I get back, I guess I should make some New Years resolutions.

I've never been very good at resolutions because I never makes the ones that I should make. That is, there are things I should do but know that I won't, and ones that I don't really have to make but do because I know I'll probably keep them and end up feeling good about myself. (Erm... did that make sense?) It's sort of like those kids who are supposed to read 100 books over summer vacation, and only read "Dick and Jane" stuff because it's easy.

So I'll make two lists: the easy ones and the hard ones.

The Easy Ones

Easy. Feel good. Probably won't fail. No real sense in making them.

• Keep up with Dexter's oil changes. Saturn makes a big deal about changing the oil in their cars because of the steel timing chain. I've been good about it so far, and since they remind me through the mail once in a while I don't see how I could forget.
  
  
• Give some thought to my future with Dave. Again, not hard because I think about him all the time. You could say I'm obsessed. But digging deeper, I need to figure out exactly what I want. If we get married, do I really want to move to Winnipeg? It's damn cold there. I'd have to start over with friends and finances. I love him dearly, though. Things to think about, indeed.
  
  
• Do more writing. I love writing, so I don't see how this will be much of a sacrifice. grin I would like to work on some stuff that I could try selling, and I already have some ideas brewing. All I need to do it sit down and do it. Weekends are good for that.
  
  
• Get rid of some stuff. Either give it away, sell it at a garage sale, or pitch it. One way or the other, stuff has to go. I don't really want to do this one, but I don't have much of a choice. All my crap is cramping my apartment up. Something has to give!

The Hard Ones

Difficult. Feel bad when I fail. High chance of failure. Should be made.

• Quit smoking. This is the Big One. I really do need to quit. I'm not even that addicted, chemical-wise to cigarettes. ("Yeah, sure," you say.) No, really. When I'm busy or distracted for a while, I can go days without a smoke without a jitter. But I am addicted to the ACT of smoking. I have ingrained habits regarding this. When I'm at work, I get a half-hour lunch. I always grab something to eat and then smoke. When I eat a large meal, nothing settles it better than a smoke. When I'm sitting at my computer, I smoke. Not smoking during these times makes me irritable. It's a habit. It needs to be broken.
  
  
• Go to church. I love sleeping in on weekends, and church just gets in the way. They do have a late morning service that I could make it too, but I'm so out of the habit that I just don't go. I don't want to go just for the religion part, since everything is pretty much free form there. I want to community part of it. I want to sense of belonging. I lost that some time ago, and I want it back. But it means making a commitment to get up on time to go.
  
  
• Keep up with the dishes. This might seem trivial to some people. These people have never been in my kitchen. Molds develop intelligence in my kitchen. I think a few have developed technology capable of space flight. It's pretty embarrassing, actually, but I just can't keep up with the dishes. About every three or four months I wash everything, and then let it pile up again. The more it piles up the less I want to do it. Something has to be done, and I can't afford a maid.
  
  
• Lose some weight. About 50 pounds ought to do it. I wear lots of loose-fitting clothing so it doesn't really show, and I'm not grossly overweight or anything, but I am about 70 pounds overweight for my height. And I'm not terribly self-conscious about my weight or anything like that. But I'm in that really awful weight-range where I can never find anything that fits me perfectly. Things are either way too small (and even just a smidge too small is way too small when you're talking about jeans) or way too big. If you go into a store there are three sections. "Petite" sizes are for weirdoes who wear a size 0 in jeans. (I mean no disrespect to petite women. Here, have some chocolate.) "Normal" (AKA, the unlabeled section) sizes are sizes 10 through 18. These are too small for me. "Plus" are sizes 22 through XXXXXXXL. These are too big. Where are my jeans?? Anyway, losing weight for me is way hard. I've tried. Want some chocolate?

Well, that's all I've got to say about that.

I'm packed, I'm psyched, I'm ready to go. Y2K bug or not, I'm going to enjoy this New Years.

See you in the next millennium!

Oh, man. That sounded really cheesy. I can't end like that. What else can I say? Hmm...

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Y2K may be scary
Hope the bug don't bite you!

That was worse.

Here's hoping that your computers don't...

Oh, screw it. I can't come up with anyway to end this. So instead, here's some elevator music to keep you occupied until I return (hopefully) on January 3rd.

doo do de do de dum de doo de dum do do do deeeeeeeee doo dee doo dum dum dee dum dee doo de do de do de dummmmm...

Looking Up

______ of the Day

Skimming

Go Somewhere