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gender

I got one of my magazines, Discover, in the mail today. It had an interesting article in it ("A Question of Gender" by Emily Nussbaum) about gender identity.

The focus of the article was a little child who was born with XY/XO chromosomes, making her intersexual. She was born with an undeveloped penis/clitoris, half of a uterus/Fallopian tube system, an underdeveloped ovary, one testicle, and a large urinary tract opening where her vagina should be. In a broad sense of the term, she was a hermaphrodite.

The rest of the article described the parents' struggles about what to do with their little "girl." They decided to give her cosmetic surgery, making her more of a "female." But they were torn when they spoke with several adult intersexual people who had undergone cosmetic surgery when they were children. Most of them were very unhappy, and wished they had been given the choice to make for themselves when they were older.

The article also mentioned the case of John/Joan, who was "turned into" a female when a circumcision operation was botched. In 1972, says the article, psychologist John Money published a book called Man & Woman, Boy & Girl about gender identity. Money used John/Joan to illustrate his theory that gender identity was fluid until the age of 2. "Joan" was raised as a female and seemed to be happy. But in 1994 another scientist, Milton Diamond, rediscovered John/Joan. Turns out that Joan had surgery to turn herself back into John when she was in her early 20s.

The parents of the little girl in the article decided to go ahead with the surgery despite what other intersexual people had told them. Which started me thinking - what makes someone female or male?

I know that lots of psychological studies have been done on this, from intersexual to transgendered to homosexual people. One of my college professors was transgendered. (Or is it transexual? I always get those two mixed up.) I had the male professor my freshman year, and had the female version for a class my junior year. She was not typical, either: the professor was in his mid-50's when he decided to have the surgery; he had been married and widowed; he had a 20-something son. And now she has a girlfriend.

My friends have always called me a tomboy (although "dyke" has been a more common word used to describe me lately.) I hate make-up, doing my hair, high heels, purses, shopping for clothes, and other typically "female" things. I carry a wallet in my back pocket, I prefer boots to flats, and I'm a slob when it comes to housework. But I definitely identify myself as female.

Of course, I know lots of gay men who definitely identify themselves as male despite their orientation. And many years ago I had a little "just out of curiosity" fling with another woman. It was very enjoyable and I don't regret it, but it also made me realize that I'm not a lesbian, or even bi. I knew that I couldn't bond with another female the way I could with a male... The way she could bond with a female. So sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender identification. And it's not the way someone is raised, as John/Joan's case shows.

So what is it? What does it mean to be male or female? I can't answer that for males, since I don't have any of their experiences. I can't even say that I can answer for any females other than myself.

But to me, being female means that I can form a special kind of bond with a man. It means that I like having long, rambling discussions about politics, ethics, religion, and why my toes get crusty sometimes. It means that I like staring out the window watching the rain make streaks on the glass. It means that I can really get into a game of baseball. It means that sometimes I lie awake at night wondering about everything.

Of course, I'm sure there are gay men who think exactly the same as that, but who identify as male. But like I said, I was just answering the question for me.

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